Jared Akers

How to Be Happy

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How to Be the Person Your Dog Thinks You Are, 5 Tips on Humility

by Jared Akers

your dog is watching youA few years ago I was sitting in a support group discussing humility when a burly man shared, “I just wake up each morning and try to be the man my dog thinks I am.”

That made sense.

Maybe you’ve heard the saying: act as if?

If only it was that easy. Act happy and you’ll be happy, act strong and you’ll be strong. Of course it’s not that easy… or is it?

Author Francine Ward suggests, “Self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts.” The key word in that quote is doing. Never has any significant life changing event taken place in my life from just sitting around thinking about it.

Taking action, or acting as if, puts us out into the universe where we can interact with others, receive feedback and change the course of our lives and those around us. You’ll get better results if you strive to live your way into right thinking as opposed to thinking your way into right living.

Most of my life I worked towards being the man I thought everyone wanted me to be; instead of whom I was meant to be. As for humility, it was more of a tool to getting something I wanted as opposed to a virtue or character building. [Read more…]

HTBH 014: How to Feel Happy When Everything Sucks

by Jared Akers

http://traffic.libsyn.com/howtobehappy/HTBH014.mp3

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alone in bathroomThe question often arises of how to be happy in life when we’re unhappy with our circumstances.  Whether your job, relationships, or other parts of your life, Emily and I sat down to talk about how to find happiness when everything in life seems to suck.

In particular we discuss a quote from Immanuel Kant in the The Rules for Happiness:

  • Something to do
  • Someone to love
  • Something to hope for

Is it possible to be happy if we have none of these in our lives?

At the least, the most important would probably be hope.

Unhappiness can and does drain us of our energy so it’s hard in these times to think upbeat and be positive. This is where the “act as if” theory can help or as some call it “fake it till you make it.” [Read more…]

HTBH 013: Faith and Walking the Walk

by Jared Akers

http://traffic.libsyn.com/howtobehappy/HTBH013.mp3

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walking over bridgeWe all know how important it is to tell those we love how we feel, but do we live it?

We had a scare a few weeks ago when Emily went into the hospital for an emergency appendectomy.  The experience enforced the concept of maintaining our spiritual condition. That we stay in good spiritual shape—making deposits into our spiritual bank account—to draw upon in times of need.

In a brief off topic discussion, I brought up the practice of replacing the phrase “I don’t have time” with “it’s not a priority for me.” This can really change your perspective on the importance of something. This concept was sparked by the post The Illusion of Time.

Emily experienced some pain on Monday, April 30th while working and realized that night she needed to go to the hospital. After they discovered some blood in her urine, we realized this could be one of those moments that change your life significantly. We discussed the concept of how we talk the talk, but now we get to find out if we can walk the walk. [Read more…]

HTBH 012: Happiness and Emotional Intelligence

by Jared Akers

http://traffic.libsyn.com/howtobehappy/HTBH012-HappinessAndEmotionalIntelligence.mp3

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emotional intelligence“Emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.” – Salovey & Mayer

Emily and I just returned from a trip to Belize and shared a little bit about our great vacation; diving with sharks and eating lionfish!

We start off by sharing what emotional intelligence means to us. The ability to make rational decisions and not just react based on the immediate emotion felt.

We talk about how to avoid emotional blind spots by feeling the emotions completely and then being able to detach from them in a healthy manner. In the past, I had a lot of emotional blind spots; emotions I avoided because they were uncomfortable since I was emotionally immature. [Read more…]

How to Find Yourself: 5 Tips on Discovering Who You Really Are

by Jared Akers

“The image of myself which I try to create in my own mind in order that I may love myself is very different from the image which I try to create in the minds of others in order that they may love me.”
-W.H. Auden

In the ever expanding niche of personal and self-development, there’s a lot of talk about how to find yourself. I should know, I’ve written an entire book on it, Happiness for the Practical Mind: 7 Steps to Discovering and Loving Your Authentic Self.

So what does it mean to find oneself?

I lived most of my life in a way I thought was expected; striving for an identity which society seemed to reward. All the while not really sure who I was or what I wanted out of life. It’s odd really, thinking now that I was chasing what others perceived to be important.

When sitting down to write on this topic, something continually came to my mind… it’s a line from the movie The Way, “You don’t choose a life dad, you live one. “ [Read more…]

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About Me

Jared & Emily Akers Hello, I'm Jared Akers. And that lovely lady next to me, that's my wife Emily. This photo was taken in 2009 while on the island of Curacao SCUBA diving. We're happy, and want you to be happy too.

Learn more about me.

Recent Posts

  • 31 Quotes About Love to Ignite Your Relationship
  • The Pain and Joy of Discovering Who You Are (and are not)
  • 5 Tips on How to Stay Positive no Matter What the Circumstances. #3 Saves me Everyday
  • How to Take an Awesome Vacation Every Six Months, 4 Tips on Finding Travel Deals
  • How to Be Happy Everyday: 10 Tips (#8 is golden)

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