The question often arises of how to be happy in life when we’re unhappy with our circumstances. Whether your job, relationships, or other parts of your life, Emily and I sat down to talk about how to find happiness when everything in life seems to suck.
In particular we discuss a quote from Immanuel Kant in the The Rules for Happiness:
- Something to do
- Someone to love
- Something to hope for
Is it possible to be happy if we have none of these in our lives?
At the least, the most important would probably be hope.
Unhappiness can and does drain us of our energy so it’s hard in these times to think upbeat and be positive. This is where the “act as if” theory can help or as some call it “fake it till you make it.”
Becoming active, helping others and being of service, is (from our experience) the most effective way of getting out of ourselves and finding happiness. This is an action and something we can almost always do.
Gratitude is a key component of happiness. If we cannot find anything to be grateful for, happiness will remain elusive.
Write down a gratitude list. Get out a piece of paper and start writing down things you’re grateful for. I like to make a list of 10 things, for example: arms, eyesight, mother, etc.
Emily makes a great point (among many) when we were discussing the concept of having someone to love; that if someone doesn’t love themselves or is not willing to take care of themselves, how can we trust them to take care of what we share with them?
Perspective is huge in pretty much all aspects of life. Accepting that things happen in life around you not to you helps change your perspective to less of a narcissistic view of the world.
Finding happiness in any job is mostly about the relationships. If the relationships in the career or job aren’t fulfilling, it’s a tough decision and probably time to look into making a change.
It’s important to have a plan. If you’re not happy with what you’re doing now, give yourself a time limit (how long you’re willing to do that) with a plan to do something else. Take steps in your off-time to make that happen, be proactive. Accept the fact that YOU are responsible.
We talk about having to put our Westie dog, Pepper, to sleep over the weekend. It was sad and definitely sucked. We found happiness in the idea that she is now romping around heaven with our late cat Pud Pud. Yes, our cat was named Pud Pud (like Pudding) at least that’s what we called him, his given name was Armando… long story.
How to be happy when your hair sucks? Wear a hat.
The more energy and thought we give something, the more power we give it. Learn how to let things go.
If we’re not getting what we want, maybe we are wanting the wrong thing.
The resistance that we give to things can turn into a positive force to propel us farther (happier, more enlightened, etc.) once we move into acceptance and learning from resistance.
By sharing our fears and innermost thoughts with others, we get the immeasurable value of a different perspective.
Topics in this episode:
- Expectations – Episode 005
- Emotional Intelligence – Episode 012
- The Most Interesting Man in the World
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