This is no fluff, straight to the point, action based information that can change your life.
To be happy and start living fearless, you only need to know this: You’re not here to win, you’re here to learn. The more you accept this, the less fear, stress, and anxiety you’ll have in your life and the happier you will be.
All fear is imagined; thus the side effects of stress and anxiety are self-inflicted.
The secret to living a fearless life is truth. Truth about yourself and the purpose you have in this world.
If you put in the dedication of knowing yourself completely and un-dividing your mind, you’ll discover it’s the same with stress and anxiety; it’s all imagined or created in your mind. Yet, even though many accept this logic (of our mind being our biggest problem), then why is everyone still running around full of fear, stress, anxiety, and ultimately unhappiness?
One reason is we’re chasing an illusion; the illusion of success and winning defined by society, parents, friends, etc. I too lived the illusion for many years.
Since my early twenties I had this image in my mind of what success looked like. It consisted of a loft apartment overlooking the city and driving a Porsche. My idea of success had nothing to do with personal character or the individual I would become; it was based on status and materialism. I would set all these goals for myself, reach them, and then trudge on to the next one. I was never satisfied and still full of fear, anxiety, and stress.
Are you stuck? Maybe you’re like I used to be. Trudging through life, not really sure what is wrong while disliking and fearing two things; the way things are and change.
I was lucky. I become desperate enough to seek a better way. Not the easier way—at first—but I’ve certainly discovered how to be happy. So can you.
Are you ready to start loving yourself?
To get started, click here to sign up for FREE practical tips on living a happier life (regardless of your circumstances).
Do you have a needy partner, spouse, or friend? Or maybe you’re the needy one.
In this episode of the How to Be Happy Podcast, we sat down to discuss how to stop being so needy.
Whether your partner is too needy, or you feel you need a partner to be happy, “need” is a form of control. The more self-worth and love we have, the less we need to be happy and fulfilled.
But there’s a difference between being hopeless and helpless.
If you’re feeling hopeless, that’s OK, it’s natural and something many people go through. But you’re not helpless.
Regardless of your circumstances you always have the option to ask for help, no matter what you’re going through. It’s narcissistic to think no one understands.
Some common reasons people avoid asking for help:
We’re not aware we need it
Fear; we see asking for help as a sign of weakness or we’re embarrassed to admit we need help
Subconsciously we deserve to be miserable
We’re not desperate enough
Admitting we need help does not mean we have the courage to ask for it. The fear of asking is often enough to give us a pause of such depth and weight that we consider giving up on life altogether.
It’s interesting to read people so openly discussing their suicide plans. In one article, the person is explaining her plan of using a modified version of the exit bag, and asks the question, “I’d be interested in hearing from someone who’s tried this method.”
Wait, wouldn’t they be dead if it worked correctly?
If the person is still around sharing their experience, they’re probably not someone you want to be taking suicide advice from. Just sayin…
Many of these people are obviously in pain and/or seeking attention—I’m not making light of that. Unfortunately, from my experience, it’s the quiet ones who are usually in the most pain; you might not even know they’re having trouble.
One day they’re just gone.
In my case, the people closest to me knew I was in trouble; even as I tried to convince them everything was OK. Yet they also knew there was nothing they could do. God bless them for trying though.
The common goal of suicide is cessation of consciousness: The anguished mind of a suicidal person interprets the end of consciousness as the only way to end the suffering.
As someone who seriously considered suicide at a point in my life, I can see the attraction.
And quite honestly, there are still times when I think it would be easier to just check out. This may come as a shock to many who know me; being that I’m mostly upbeat, emotionally connected, and mentally stable.
On the flip-side, as someone who’s known others that have ended their own life, I’ve witnessed the destruction, pain, and the selfish side of suicide.
I once said that “not committing suicide may have been the first truly unselfish act I’d ever taken.”
Yet I can still see why it’s attractive. Besides the mental illness and chemical imbalance that may lead someone to take their own life, sometimes we all wonder: what’s the point?
The point is love.
Why Giving Up On Life is not the Best Option
A quote I’ve often used is Donahue’s “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
Upon thinking about my own low points, I realize this approach may not address the issue we feel in these moments. That pain is temporary.
Quite the contrary; if I perceive something to be a permanent solution, that sounds good to me.
Through healing and raising emotional intelligence, I’ve learned that emotions are temporary and can be controlled. Thankfully we’re not our emotions and through practice and learning they can be mastered.
Giving up on life is always an option, but rarely the best one.
If the time comes when it seems like you’re done, you’re tired of trying and all options have been considered and the only attractive one seems like giving up completely. Remember this: you’re not alone.
Life is made up of moments. Moments in which we’re either giving or seeking love. And even in the deepest moments when love seems infeasible, know that someone will miss you.
The easiest way to feel better about self, is to get out of self.
To feel better right now: do something kind for someone else. And do it anonymously if possible.
Here are some ideas:
Take a sandwich or your spare change to the homeless person down the street. No homeless in your area? Put $10 in someone’s mailbox.
Call your mother. If you don’t have one, sorry. Find someone else to talk to who appreciates you. If you can’t find someone… well, then that’s part of your problem. Get out of yourself and go become part of something.
Rake the leaves in your neighbor’s yard when they’re gone.
It’s been a while since we recorded our last podcast. Emily and I sat down today to discuss what it means and takes to create a positive self-image. Topics in this episode: Self-Image Self-Esteem (doing esteemable acts) Acceptance Please subscribe below to get automatic updates of our podcast! Click Here to Subscribe via iTunes Click [...]
Are you a pessimist or optimist? If you’re a pessimist, there’s hope. Thanks to neuroplasticity you can change the physical makeup of your brain by the way you think. Most of life is about perspective and attitude. Things you have control over.
The first major shift in my thinking happened in 1997. The realization that I was responsible for my own failure’s in life. That I wasn’t entitled to anything and that if I want success and happiness, I had to get off my ass and go get it! Although I would reach another bottom in 2006, [...]
You hear people say it all the time, “be true to yourself,” “to thine own self be true,” “find your authentic self.” What does that mean exactly? For me, part of it was having my outsides match my insides. That is, portraying the same person externally to the world as the man I am inside. [...]
Hanging out on Facebook the other day I saw a quote posted by Henri over at Wakeup Cloud. The quote was from Bill Cosby and it said, “Decide that you want it, more than you are afraid of it.” Henri’s comment on his FB post was, “When you make this shift, everything changes.” I couldn’t [...]
Last week my mother forwarded me an email with a story about The Law of The Garbage Truck. After some research, I discovered the story is from the book The Law of the Garbage Truck: How to Stop People from Dumping on You (Amazon) by David Pollay. Here’s the story: One day I hopped in [...]
About Jared Akers