Goodbye For Now, Dad

Dad and me running on the beach, Florida 1980

On June 26th my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Yesterday, on July 6th, 2010, he passed away.

I had been working on several posts talking about what I’ve experienced emotionally and spiritually over the last 10 days, things like Matching Calamity with Serenity, Fear, Sadness, Grace, Inner-Peace and Gratitude. However, since so much has happened over the last few weeks and days, I’ve decided to post them at a later date while keeping them in the context they were originally written—or something like that.

Over the years—as a result of my spiritual growth—I’ve had the opportunity to learn more about my father through changes in myself. I’m thankful to have spent some time with him on Monday the 5th and was reminded of his kindness, humor, and dedication to his family and the love that surrounds us all.

As I’m still somewhat in shock, I do feel an inner-peace that everything is right with the world. Losing someone we love dearly can be tragic and sad, yet if we let it, can be a beautiful thing. Although right now it’s hard to put in words anything beautiful about it. But I’ll try…

Today my wife, mother, sister, 4 year old niece, and I were looking through photos to show at the funeral service. My sister had explained to my niece what had happened and as we were looking through photos she said, “it’s too bad grandpa died, but it’s great that we have pictures of him.” That’s beautiful I think. I’m so grateful I have memories of a loving father and a great man.

Right now it’s the little things that are huge, things like seeing his watch and socks still sitting where they were yesterday; knowing he’ll never be putting them on again.

I’m not sure when I’ll get to posting the before mentioned articles; but here are a few articles I’ve written in the past about my dad and relevant topics:

Today Could be Your Last Chance; Make it Count! (Jan 18th, 2010)

Learning My Fathers Love Language (May 27th, 2009)

Where I’m Supposed To Be (Jan 20th, 2009)

Does Everything Really Happy for a Reason? (March 29th, 2010)

Matching Calamity with Serenity: Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos (June 27th, 2010)

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Comments

  1. elizabeth garcia says

    To be sure, your father will be missed – however if he weren’t missed, it would have meant he was not loved. It sounds like you have many wonderful memories. My sister also just passed, and it is knowing she was a Christian that gives me peace, knowing she is with our Heavenly Father, where I will join her one day. That is the promise and also the promise of the peace which passes all understanding.

    Take care and God Bless you and your family at this time and the days ahead.

    Elizabeth

    • Jared says

      Thank you Elizabeth for your kind words. Sorry to hear about your sister and God Bless you and your family as well. I did have an experience yesterday in the shower… I was reminded that God has been standing beside me through this entire process and I felt his presence, as if to say, “it’s OK Jared, I’ll take care of him.” And I finally just wailed and wept uncontrollably for the first time since we found out my father was sick on June 26th.

  2. Finola Prescott says

    I missed this somehow…memories never get old when they’re of your loved ones – hope you find lots of love and happiness with your family at this time and always

    • Jared says

      Thanks Finola. You’re right, the memories mean so much more now. Which is a reminder of making as many as we can with the people still in our lives.

  3. Smitty says

    June 26th is my birthday, so the date of your father’s diagnosis meant something personally to me.

    I am blessed by reading back and forth in time, and wondering what my mother and father’s “love language” has been in my life so far. I am older than you, and my parents are, miraculously still alive.

    What will I do in the time left, to understand what they mean to me, and appreciate what the “best of their love” has helped me to be, in my own unique life?

    Thank you for sharing your spiritual journey, Jared.

    Best, Smitty

    • Jared says

      Smitty,
      Happy (belated) birthday! It’s fitting that you mention “back and forth in time” – memories of my father are much more precious now and I find myself searching back for more special moments. Sometimes I wish I had paid better attention. But then it’s what I can learn from it now, and as a result, I do stop in more moments to relish in the fact that it is special; as are all moments. One thing we can do with our time left, is realize each moment is a moment in which memories and love can grow. Over the last several years, as a result of being present through my spiritual growth, I have so many great memories and moments which I remember so fondly. It’s like I’ve lived a lifetime in the last several years learning to accept and give unconditional love, acceptance, so many things…

      Thanks for the great comments Smitty!

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