You’ve probably heard the saying, “We’re spiritual beings having a human experience.” I have no idea who originally said that… but I believe it to be true. Do you?
The first question you should ask yourself before getting too far into this subject is: do you believe you are a spiritual being?
No? (stick around and see what you find)
Yes? (keep reading)
Call it intuition, a heightened sense of awareness, enlightenment, etc., the idea that we’re spiritual beings is nothing new yet people still seem confused on what this actually means. For me, it simply means I’m part of something bigger, i.e. I’m not the center of the universe.
Whether we believe this something bigger to be God or some creator, who knows and honestly… who cares. We can live a spiritual life, and find spiritual love, without defining what or why we should believe in something. More importantly, we can allow others to do the same. Now that we have that out of the way…
Spiritual love is something that comes from both the heart and the mind; it is unconditional love. As intellectual beings, we often confuse our thoughts with what’s in our hearts. The farthest distance in the world is often the twelve inches between our head and our heart. Knowing we should be loving and caring and acting that way are two completely different things. We’re judged by our actions not our intentions.
So how do we get it out of our head (this idea of love and caring) and into our hearts?
We must first learn love, empathy, and understanding for ourselves. Then and only then can we truly recognize and EXPRESS these feelings towards others. Try explaining to someone what broccoli tastes like if you have never tasted it yourself or how a baby’s skin feels against your cheek if you’ve never experienced it.
In order to fully accept and love others unconditionally we need to start with ourselves. Once we develop spiritual love for self, it will come naturally for others. The deeper our acceptance and love for self goes, the less we need externally to feel loved and validated. As we need less externally to prop up our ego and self-esteem, our need to judge others declines and the ability to love unconditionally increases.
A few months ago I heard something simple yet life changing: Want peace? Suspend judgment of yourself and others. I thought that was amazing and very powerful.
Learning to suspend judgment of ourselves is not easy and takes hard work. I found it difficult to stop judging myself after years of living a life I wasn’t proud of—and the realization I wasn’t as fond of myself as I previously thought (head vs. heart). My ego (head) said I was a big shot while my heart told me I was a failure unworthy of love. My discovery process was through working on myself spiritually and emotionally; things I talked about in the Spiritual Serenity Series. It was and is hard work at times, but damn is it worth it!
22 Ways Spiritual Love Will Change Your Life
- You will develop more meaningful relationships based out of true respect and love; not what can you do for me?
- Resentments will fade—eventually disappear entirely—due to diminished expectations of others and yourself
- You will discover you need less to be happy (materially and emotionally)
- The world will seem a lot more peaceful, no matter what is going on around you
- As you develop a more altruistic view, you’ll find happiness and peace is the reward
- Others will naturally be drawn to you
- You will attract abundance in areas you didn’t even know you were lacking
- You will sleep better
- People in your life will know how much they mean to you
- You will notice things in people and nature which you never realized were there before
- Gratitude will start to fill your heart more than fear and loneliness
- You will realize that anyone, at any given moment, is doing the best they can
- You will feel genuine happiness for others good fortune as opposed to envy
- Your past will become your biggest asset
- You will begin to realize little in life is really hard, just uncomfortable at times
- Each moment will be filled of unimaginable potential
- Love will become your favorite word and action
- Exercise and living healthy will become more important as love for self grows
- You will find what it is you were always looking for
- Food will taste better
- You will never be alone again
- You will consistently feel on the verge of greatness as opposed to calamity
Wow, what a list eh? What do you think? Do you love yourself today?
photo credit: millzero
About Jared Akers
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Wow! This is exactly where I want to be, and even though I have been on the road toward recovery for over 24 years, I still fall short of
these goals. But I know that I am a spiritual being because I continue to work toward the goals that seem to elude me.
I came to your blog because I needed more spirituality in my life. I have found that what you write is so profound and spot on for me each time I read. I think about what is said, how to apply it to my life and if I am doing any of the things that you discuss. Most times, I am right in the middle of exactly what you are talking about. Self-love is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. It means that I have to love me exactly as I am today. Not how someone else wants me to be.
Nor can I judge others on standards that I myself cannot live up to. Oh and the living with less! So much more fun than when I was this “material girl”.
Thank you so much for your writings. They are helping me live the life I have always wanted.
Mary W.
Mary,
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. Wow, did you hit the nail with “I have to love me exactly as I am today. Not how someone else wants me to be.” Very powerful. Learning to accept the consequences of being ourselves, totally and not placing unreasonable demands on ourselves and others is key to finding peace in each moment. Thank you for reminding me to accept myself as I am right now!
ditto here…it is one of those amazing things that we seem to read one day just what we need to hear. great post..working on loving those around me even if everything is not going my way..
Well said Jacki. That is when the rubber hits the road or the litmus test so to speak… how peaceful and happy can I be when things are not going my way. But then I have to ask myself, what is “my” way exactly? Usually my way involves my ego wanting validation in some sort from others, or maybe just people to stop texting while they’re driving and concentrating on the road!
Hi Jared,
Thanks for your insights. I came across this while searching or inspiring zen quotes and totally agree with you on the practice of self-love. In my experience, I have found that the more I put myself down and judge myself, the more judgmental I am of other people and closed off from them. But the more understanding and compassionate I am towards myself, the more I’m understanding of other people and the more open I am to them.
I believe that compassion and love towards oneself is the most powerful gateway to compassion and love towards others. Only when we know ourselves intimately, honestly and with great gentleness can we also know and appreciate others in the same way.
I think there’s sometimes a danger in spiritual writing of needing to ‘perfect’ oneself and ‘get rid’ of the ‘bad qualities’ inside you. I’ve found that this leads to dissatisfaction and reinforces a sense of not ever being good enough, which is ironically what spirituality tries to address. So I’ve found that it’s really important to see yourself as whole as you are *right now* rather than striving for a perfect ideal. So rather than striving to become enlightened, I think it’s helpful to just practice *being* enlightened, which means entering into an unconditional friendship with yourself and making friends with everything that you are right now. I once read that one way to have less stress in life is to ‘Have the courage to be imperfect’. When I remind myself of this, I feel the pressure of self-hate lift and I can also accept people more just the way they are too
And if we keep resisting the habit to put ourselves down and have the courage to keep opening our hearts more and more to the good and bad in ourselves, I’ve found that the ‘bad’ stuff you think you have inside you fades over time and has less of a hold on your life. In fact, they can be come your best friends and teachers and help to bring the best out of you.
It’s funny how our culture teaches that to improve ourselves, we have to keep criticising ourselves and being really harsh. But really, I think the heart of all spirituality is to have the courage to go against the grain, be unpredictable and use love and compassion as much as you can
Anyway, that’s my 2 cents! Thanks again for your insights!
Maria,
Wow, thank you so much for sharing. I too agree “that compassion and love towards oneself is the most powerful gateway to compassion and love towards others.” It really is simple (in theory) when you discover that compassion and acceptance towards others comes more naturally once we find it within and towards ourselves.
Accepting the bad qualities in ourselves is essential and powerful in helping us get to where we want to go. But at the same time accepting where we’re at. I have these “Daily Moral Inventory” cards that help me concentrate on my assets versus liabilities. One column lists liabilities like, anger, self-pity, self-justification and the opposing column lists the assets like self-control, self-forgiveness, and integrity. If I’m feeling something which is causing me discomfort, I can accept that I’m feeling that and then see what the asset of that emotion is and try to focus on that.
Acknowledging the darker side of ourselves is something The Shadow Effect (a recent book review I did) touched on in depth. It was quite interesting and tells us that by dismissing or suppressing our darker side we only give it more power.
In simple terms what you alluded to is learning to accept the consequences of being ourselves.
Thanks so much for your insights and I hope to learn more from you!
Hi Jared,
I also love the idea of the ‘daily moral inventory’ and seeing the positive benefits and functions of our emotions.
“The Shadow Effect” sounds like a wonderful book and I’ll certainly look into it and read it
Thanks for your blog and I look forward to reading more of your entries in the future
Wow, thanks!
This gives spirituallity a whole new meaning.
I was just looking for a way to improve my social situation and find meaning in my life (i am a non-beliver), and this is the key. THANKS!
You’re welcome Dzmitry! That just made my day! “Love is the only reality” – I heard that on a TV show the other night and it really seemed fitting here. I like it. Thanks for leaving a comment.
Hi Jared, I read you script with much comfort of mind, for to explain the taste of brocolli, one need to have the said before can be advertised, how can one expect love, if one is not already filled with it, for love is a two edge drive, a battery on an engine is with a postive and negative drive but give a harmoniuos goal for an engine to function, so should be love toward one another.
Bossman W.O
I love the analogies Bossman, thanks!