self-acceptance | How to Be Happy by Jared Akers

Self-Pity and Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

by Jared Akers

“One thing that makes it so difficult to stop feeling sorry for
ourselves is how real it feels when we are full of self-regret.”
-Guy Finley (The Courage to Be Free)

Regret, in any form, nags at our consciousness continually reminding us we’re unworthy or incapable of achieving greatness or even mediocrity.

Be it a relationship, job, school, or whatever, the regret of something we’ve either failed at accomplishing or even started, binds us to the past and keeps us in the dark unable to see the possibilities available to us.

Consumed by self-regret, we sink into a morass of self-pity and low self-esteem. Even the possibilities available to us in the present moment are overshadowed by our past regrets.

Even though it sucks—a lot!—its familiarity keeps us bound to a cycle seemingly impossible to break.

“The secret attraction behind self-pity—why it’s so hard to set down—is that the part of us that feels like nothing makes the part of us that points out this nothingness feel quite special!”
–Guy Finley (The Courage to Be Free)

We can look at two sources for the dilemma of being stuck in self-pity and feeling sorry for ourselves: lack of choice and fear.

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How to Develop Good Communication Skills (accidentally on purpose)

by Jared Akers

In a recent job interview I was asked “what are you best at?” My answer was communicating, inspiring, and remaining calm under pressure. The next question was, “how much time do you spend doing those things in your current position?” My answer… hmm, well, at first I said none but then changed it to maybe 10%. After which I shifted in my seat, gave my real serious look and said, “Here’s the deal… I wake up each morning and remind myself I’m here to be of service to others; and that I can be of service regardless of my job title.” Also known as—I’m an optimist and make the best out of any situation—speech. It became obvious I wasn’t currently in a position—professionally—to excel at what I do best. Since then I’ve been thinking about something…

How did I develop good communication skills?

The answer: getting to know myself and practice.

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The Power of Spiritual Love and 22 Ways It Will Change Your Life

by Jared Akers

You’ve probably heard the saying, “We’re spiritual beings having a human experience.” I have no idea who originally said that… but I believe it to be true. Do you?

The first question you should ask yourself before getting too far into this subject is: do you believe you are a spiritual being?

No? (stick around and see what you find)
Yes? (keep reading)

Here’s a guide on Spirituality Without Religion.

Call it intuition, a heightened sense of awareness, enlightenment, etc., the idea that we’re spiritual beings is nothing new yet people still seem confused on what this actually means. For me, it simply means I’m part of something bigger, i.e. I’m not the center of the universe.

Whether we believe this something bigger to be God or some creator, who knows and honestly… who cares. We can live a spiritual life, and find spiritual love, without defining what or why we should believe in something. More importantly, we can allow others to do the same. Now that we have that out of the way…

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Dr. Wayne Dyer’s The Shift and the Realization That Everything You Need is Already Within You

by Jared Akers

Last night my wife and I watched the Dr. Wayne W. Dyer movie The Shift (Amazon).

The main message is that we all seek fulfillment or purpose, but need help sometimes from what Dr. Dyer describes as a quantum moment.

The Shift happens after this quantum moment as we shift from living in the morning of our lives—driven by ego—into the afternoon—living on purpose; while everything in the morning was a lie.

The movie opens with Dr. Dyer getting out of bed and his first words are; “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

Gratitude, a most powerful action.

The term “living life on purpose,” previously meant something else to me. I associated it with intent, ambition, and drive. You know, waking up and living life on purpose! Today it means something totally different: living life on purpose; as in on task or in the zone of what my purpose is. [Read more…]

Finding Happiness

by Jared Akers

Finding happiness is somewhat of a paradox.

“The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase, if you pursue happiness you’ll never find it.”
-C. P. Snow

It would seem that finding happiness is somewhat like finding love, or the wind. We can feel it and even see it, but how do we actually go about finding it? Happiness is an emotion or state of being in that it is manifested within ourselves as a result of our experiences. Many times we may associate happiness with an external stimuli or interaction with someone or something. When in reality, happiness actually comes from within us as an emotional state of being. So how do we go about finding happiness within ourselves?

In order to have inner happiness, we must first be at peace with who we are and our place in the world. This peace comes with living up to the highest ideals we have for ourselves. Often, when we fall short of this ideal self, we experience unhappiness in the form of depression or low self-esteem. Therefore, getting to a place of self-acceptance is an important step to finding happiness.

Self-acceptance can be a hard journey to undertake. Especially with the fear of what we may find looming over our heads. However, if we’re serious about finding inner happiness we must travel this road and work at accepting ourselves as best we can. [Read more…]