Jared Akers

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Happiness Articles

Learning how to find happiness can certainly be a lifelong journey. But that does not mean you'll never know how to be happy long-term. It's simply a process like anything else, with peaks and valleys. But the reward can be a more consistent ride and finding a flow with less extreme highs and lows.

How to Find Happiness in Marriage

by Jared Akers

married couple on beachI’ve had the experience of being in two marriages.

Well, the first one ended in an annulment 6 months into it so “technically” we were never married, but we were both unhappy.

Today, I’ve been happily married for a year and two months. You may be asking yourself, “What does this guy know about finding happiness in marriage?”

That’s a good question, just read on and make up your own mind.

Before we get into how to find happiness in marriage, it’s important to provide some personal history about myself. In doing so, I hope to help others realize why they may currently be unhappy; and ultimately how my wife and I have found happiness in our marriage.

For most of my life, my relationships lasted—on average—six months. It seems that whenever someone got too close, I found ways to end the relationship. Most generally it was the, “it’s not you it’s me” line. However, I failed to realize this was what I was doing.

I felt as if the relationship was cutting into “me” time and was getting in the way of my goals. I did not want to put in the time it took to build healthy relationships with the opposite sex. Of course I wanted someone to love and cherish me, but when they started talking about marriage or long-term commitments, I usually started thinking about ways to get out of the relationship.

Consequently, this led me to have one-foot-out-the-door in relationships and emotionally unavailable. In reality, I didn’t know enough about myself to know what I wanted and needed in a partner or spouse. [Read more…]

How to Overcome Depression and Find Happiness

by Jared Akers

Firstly, if you feel as if you may be suffering from depression, you should seek professional help. There is no shame in asking for help. Not asking for help kept me sick for many years. We’re as sick as our secrets and having someone to be totally honest with such as a therapist, can be the first step in finding happiness. Additionally, always check with your physician about depressive feelings you may be having. There are medications which may help and/or you may even be on medications that are contributing to your feelings of depression.

Can’t, If, When, and But never did anything

Depression can manifest itself in many ways from pessimism, anguish, hopelessness, sadness, or a constant focus on what is wrong or not right with us. My depression has taken on many faces throughout the years. The depression I felt for many years was a result of the way I was living. I was drinking a lot and knew inside that I wasn’t living life to the fullest. This caused me to think less of myself and concentrate on all the things going wrong in my life as opposed to things I should be grateful for. Motivation was an elusive thing for me and preferred to sleep most of the time. Life just seemed so hard.

“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
-Sydney J. Harris

In hindsight, I see now the depression was a result of where I had put myself in my life. I found my self in jobs and relationships I didn’t really like or want. Compounding the problem was the realization that I had put myself in these positions. The reason being I lacked a good understanding of what I wanted or needed out of life. Most of the times, I felt as if I didn’t deserve to be happy; which is ludicrous as everyone deserves to find happiness! [Read more…]

How to Find Happiness Within

by Jared Akers

distance between head and heartFinding happiness within is a vital key to finding happiness. I know what you’re thinking… semantics right? Well let’s take a look at the definition of within:

1.  In or into the inner part; inside.
2. Inside the mind, heart, or soul; inwardly.

Let’s look precisely at 2. Inside the mind, heart, or soul; inwardly.

Many of use can get the concept of happiness inside our mind, but we fall short in regards to the heart and soul aspects. I’ve always liked the saying, “the farthest distance is the 12 inches between our head and heart.”

It seems no matter how much we think about happiness and what it takes to achieve, it remains short lived or temporary at most. We think we know, or have an idea of what happiness is, so we set out the move toward that idea.

Yet we find once we put the idea into action, the happiness is most often as fleeting as the thought itself.

Long-lasting happiness is achieved by tapping into the desires and needs of the heart and soul. Finding these desires starts with knowing who we truly are in our soul, not just who we think we our in our mind. [Read more…]

How to Find Inner Happiness

by Jared Akers

happiness from the insideThe term “inner happiness” is extremely important. A common consensus of happiness and inner-peace seekers is that true lasting happiness comes from inside us; thus, “inner happiness.”

The reason this is such a vital part of long-lasting happiness, is that it is not contingent on outside forces or influences.

We all know how difficult it can be to find happiness, especially when we have no idea where to look.

Maybe you have always been successful at setting and achieving goals; striving for higher aspirations and constantly moving towards some ultimate goal.

Even in my younger years, I found myself often setting higher goals for myself and eventually reaching them; and honestly, I really didn’t find it that difficult. The difficult part was finding a goal that left me completely satisfied and internally happy.

The happiness I found was short lived and always left me still wanting more. Not until I stopped measuring my happiness by what I achieved, did I start to find inner peace, and ultimately inner happiness. [Read more…]

Spiritual Lane Change: 9 Ways to De-stress

by Jared Akers

lane changeI came across a post recently (8 Unconventional Ways to De-stress and Release Tension) at Zen Habits by guest poster Jai Kai of SharingSuccess.tv.

He lists some actions for de-stressing like finger painting, stripping down your living room, or dancing in the rain; which I think are brilliant, especially since I am a big fan of action!

However, for me, I need more than just a temporary distraction to really de-stress.

So here are my 9 ways of de-stressing:

1. God Box

Find a nice wooden box, old penny bank, or anything you can drop notes into. When something is weighing on you mind, write it down and drop it in the box and let it go! The most amazing thing will happen; months or years later you can go back and review the notes and realize how amazingly well everything turned out.

When your head starts to worry,
And your mind just can’t rest,
Put your thoughts down on paper,
And let God do the rest…

If you don’t have a box, don’t worry, just write it down. I do this a lot at night when I’m having trouble getting to sleep due to a racing mind. I get up (action) and go right it down on paper; not necessarily a solution, just what I’m worrying about. Then I know it’s there and I can let it go.
[Read more…]

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About Me

Jared & Emily Akers Hello, I'm Jared Akers. And that lovely lady next to me, that's my wife Emily. This photo was taken in 2009 while on the island of Curacao SCUBA diving. We're happy, and want you to be happy too.

Learn more about me.

Recent Posts

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