In this session of the How to Be Happy Podcast, Emily and I sit down to discuss managing expectations. Everything comes back to being happy with who you are and willing to accept life on life’s terms.
“Wearing life like a loose garment.”
“Expectations are resentments in training.”
“Today’s expectations are tomorrow’s resentments.”
Some topics you’ll hear in this episode:
- Expectations are instilled in us at an early stage in life. Parents set expectations of us from the beginning (learning to walk, how to act, teachers have expectations, etc.)
- The term “they have so much potential” – sticks in Jared’s crawl. It suggests that love or acceptance is conditional.
- Setting expectations of oneself based on what we think the world wants to see. Can result in living conflicted with our inner self.
- It’s freeing to allow people to be who they are, accept them for who they are not who you wish they were.
- Putting expectations on self and others is a lot of pressure.
- Lowering expectations does not mean compromising our standards (moral or values)
- Confusing goals with expectations, it’s good to have goals and high standards, but avoid attaching our happiness to the outcome.
- Setting expectations limits the possibilities.
- We discuses Jared’s expectations of a recent vacation in Belize and how we dealt with it.
- Lowering or removing expectations of others opens us up to connecting on a deeper level – removes perceptions or what a certain “type” of person should be like.
- Having expectations of children and there are going to be disappointments.
- Making the shift from having expectations placed on us as children, but once we fly the coup, the responsibility is now ours.
- We have expectations of ourselves based on the models we’ve had in our lives; hopefully they’re healthy ones.
- Accepting your children for what they have to offer, instead of what you want them to be (e.g. sports as a child)
- Expectations can also go the other way, in that we can expect something to be worse than it really is or will be.
- Tolerance and crazy drivers
- Expectations in dating – whether our relationship was heading in the same/right direction. Communication is important.
- Sharing what you want with someone and then allowing them to figure out if they can give it to you.
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