self-acceptance | How to Be Happy by Jared Akers

It Ain't Easy Being Me: Avoiding Self-Destruction

by Jared Akers

Today I first want to encourage everyone to go check out Dena’s blog, Evolution You. Dena asked me to write a guest post on my experience with addiction and alcoholism. More specifically, how I overcome addiction each and every day. So please check it out, Overcoming Addiction Through Spiritual Growth.

Now let’s talk a little about self-destruction.

When I was in an alcoholism treatment center, I always had my guitar with me. One of my favorite songs I would play is, It Ain’t Easy Being Me by Chris Knight. The music video is shot in the middle of a demolition derby and presents a interesting visual as to the theme of the song. Self-Destruction. Most of the patients and myself could relate. I still play the song today when I share my story at treatment centers, but as a reminder of how I used to be. [Read more…]

The Key to World Peace: Children and The Media

by Jared Akers

If I were running for WPO (World Peace Officer), this would be my campaign speech:

Make no bones about it… world. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better. And I mean a lot worse. At times, we will wonder if it is worth the fight, as we lay down our weapons to shield the dust from our eyes that settles from the apocalyptic sky.

True peace only comes from within, within each one of us as individuals. Moreover, for that to happen, each society and thus its citizens must discover truth on their own. It must evolve and not be forced through punishments and rewards.

In the words of Steve Pavlina regarding reward and punishment structures of traditional religions, ‘When you see enforcement based on the promise of rewards and punishments, you’re not witnessing real truth. You’re witnessing marketing masquerading as truth.’

A peace that evolves on its own, through evolution is the only long-lasting path to world peace. Forcing peace is a paradox. A paradox perpetuated since man began demanding more than his fair share of resources. A cycle that will continue until something great comes to pass, something with unfathomable depth and weight.

Most likely, it will be destructive in nature, the likes of which we have never seen or could have imagined. In the end, if anyone is left, love is all that will unite us. Love which first we found for ourselves through the greatest gift of all—desperation. From which will spawn true unconditional love and acceptance between all people regardless of race or religion.

In the meantime, we are all in this together, so we had better learn how to get along. Live long and prosper. Peace out.

So here it is, the key to world peace…. drum roll please:

Children. Teach our children to love and accept themselves for who they are as individuals. Self-acceptance leads to self-enlightenment, intrinsic love for oneself and thus empathy and compassion for others.
Media. Stop scaring everyone! Stop telling us how horrific we are, and start reminding us of how loving we can be.

The other night my wife and I watched the movie Watchmen. There was one line in there that really spoke to me. The character Rorschach was responding to a question about why he brutally killed a man who murdered a little girl: [Read more…]

Do Something: Finding Spiritual Growth in Daily Actions

by Jared Akers

Doing something does not always equate to accomplishing something. For years I scurried about getting all sorts of things done, but was no closer to inner-peace and happiness as a result. Today my actions take me towards something, towards spiritual growth which is where I find the truth about myself and lasting happiness.

When I was working as a server in a restaurant, I learned how to look busy. I discovered that if you carry a ketchup bottle around and look like you’re going somewhere, people will assume you’re busy and leave you alone. I was self-centered, or as I referred to myself, shy. Which is just a form of self-centeredness and making everything about me. When all I’m thinking about is how uncomfortable I am in a situation, I’m missing the opportunity to be of service to someone else. I’m making it about me.

“Slow down and remember this: Most things make no difference. Being busy is a form of laziness-lazy thinking and indiscriminate action.”
-Tim Ferriss’ 4-Hour Workweek

Many of you may have heard me talk about my $10 life where for years I would only put $10 worth of gas in my car at a time. I was too impatient to wait any longer. As I stood their watching the numbers clicking by, I would think about all the things I had to get done. Most often, none of them were for someone else—if that was the case, $5 was the limit—back when $5 would get you somewhere. While waiting I would think about what a great friend I was and that when I was finished with the laborious task ahead, I could get back to changing the world. It was always about me—always in a rush to manage my time, always looking for something I thought I was missing. Being alone with me was too uncomfortable. [Read more…]

The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 3, Identification

by Jared Akers

Welcome back to The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness. Last week we looked at Acceptance. This week, we are going to look at identification.

Step 3: Identification

Now that I have accepted what needs to change, I can identify what areas I need to work on. Remember, just because we accept something, does not mean we have to like it.

I identified that a self-destructive life run on self-will had seriously contaminated my thinking over the years. The void inside my soul existed no matter what I filled it with; be it money, profession, alcohol, relationships, etc., nothing worked. I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt and as a result, my thinking was extremely misguided.

Nadia over at HappyLotus said it nicely in her post The First Step to Happiness:

“Usually the desire for material items as a means to happiness is a cover for an emotional issue. Granted this is not always the case … So be careful to distinguish why you want certain things and that will be the first step of your journey to finding happiness.” [Read more…]

Make Each Day A Day of Progress

by Jared Akers

Sometimes we fall backwards, or so we think. Everyone makes mistakes right? So why are we sometimes more forgiving of others than we are of ourselves?

“Each day is a day of progress, steady progress forward, if you make it so.”
– Twenty-Four Hours a Day (Hazelden Education Materials) March 31st

Everyone makes mistakes, including myself. By accepting the fact that I make mistakes, and practicing self-forgiveness, I can more easily forgive others.

So the next time we make a mistake, let’s not be so hard on ourselves… OK?