Jared Akers

Life is not a search for happiness

by Jared Akers

For years I searched for happiness outside myself. If I could just obtain the perfect job, relationship, or material possessions, then I would be happy. I thought that if I only managed well, stayed focused, and dug in, I could wrestle happiness out of life. My thinking was backwards:

Life is not a search for happiness. Happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of a life, of doing the right thing. Do not search for happiness, search for right living and happiness will be your reward. Life is sometimes a march of duty during dull, dark days. But happiness will come again, as God’s smile of recognition of your faithfulness. True happiness is always the by-product of a life well lived.
– Twenty-Four Hours a Day (Hazelden Education Materials) December 16th.

Who would have thought? Not me. Not until I was forced, out of desperation, to seek a new way of thinking. My way was just not working. In fact, it was slowly killing me. [Read more…]

I am free

by Jared Akers

i'm free I am free. Standing on the tip of a rock overlooking the pacific ocean on the beautiful island of Kauai, I am free. A few days prior I married my best friend, Emily, I am free.

I’ve been to this island before, I’ve been married here before, but I was a prisoner then. A prisoner to living a life on self will. I don’t remember much then, only that I was terrified inside of what my life had become and where it was going. I was chained to the thought that I could find happiness in my life if only I could manage it better.

The life I had then is gone, the person I was then is gone, it died the day I turned my will and my life over to my Higher Power, God.

This time, I see God’s presence every where. The day before our wedding, Emily and I went on a shore dive off Koloa landing and saw two octopus mating. How cool is that! It’s rare to see octopus, not to mention to see them mating! On our boat dive, we saw lots of critters (too many to mention) but the highlight was the endanged Hawaiian Monk Seal. [Read more…]

Giving Thanks, an Attitude of Gratitude!

by Jared Akers

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.”
-Meister Eckhart

Today we give thanks. I want to thank all those who are making me a better person today and have helped me learn how to be happy. All those who share with me their struggles and life challenges—and those who listen to mine.

Having an attitude of gratitude can be a life changing experience and a keep to finding happiness. When feeling a slight uneasyness, I recognize I’m getting into self and know it’s because there’s something I think I want that I’m not getting, or something I have that I’m afraid of loosing. When this happens, I often stop and take three to ten deep breathes. While inhaling I think God and while exhaling, self. This helps me realize it’s not about me and to look around to see who I can be of service to. Often being of service can be a simple Thank You to someone. When this doesn’t work, I get out a piece of paper and write down a gratitude list, listing all the things I’m grateful for.

Gratitude will not only change your life, but those around you as well. As Leo over at Zen Habits points out in his post, 8 Tremendously Important Ways That Gratitude Can Change Your Life:

It’s amazing how one simple, easy, positive action can change so much in a person’s life.

Can it change your life as well? I can guarantee it. You might not get the exact same benefits as I have, but there’s no doubt in my mind that the simple act of gratitude on a regular basis will change anyone’s life, positively and immediately. How many other changes can claim to be that quick, that easy, and that profound?

Check out Leo’s list of 8 ways one can find gratitude in almost any life situation.

It's Not My Job

by Jared Akers

People that litter annoy me, really. They’re simply lazy and figure… well, that someone else will pick it up. After all, its not their job right? Or do they even think that? Maybe I’m even giving them the benefit of the doubt here, more than likely they just don’t care.

I was driving into work the other morning and while waiting at a stop light I noticed this gentleman outside his place of business. I’m assuming it was “his” place of business because he was walking the grounds with a look of pride and ownership. The sun was just coming up and the morning air was still cool and foggy. You could see his breath and the steam rising from his hot cup of joe as he surveyed the grounds and retrieved the morning paper a few feet from the curb. He then proceeded to look over a couple of newly planted trees and seemed to be enjoying his morning walk of his grounds. Then he noticed something, a disgarded McDonald’s sack laying about three feet from the curb on his perfectly manicured lawn. I watched with curiosity as he approached the garbage and just as I expected him to bend over and pick it up, he proceeded to kick it into the street. Huh? Man did I have him pegged wrong.

I guess picking up trash is not his job. Too bad, he owns a car repair shop and I know another job that’s not his either, fixing my car.

The Little Things

by Jared Akers

the little things Last Thursday I went to the dentist for my 6 month cleaning. I used to really hate the dentist. Then I got into this sort of attitude where I felt I deserved any pain the dentist inflicted on me, that it was some how my punishment for not taking care of myself. I don’t feel that way now, I take care of me teeth and enjoy hearing praise on how clean I’m keeping my teeth.

Ok, sorry for the little rant on my history with the dentist… now to the topic of this post, “the little things.” What I’m talking about is how much more enjoyable life is when you have someone to enjoy life’s little things with.

You know the bag of “goodies” you get when leaving the dentist office? You know, the new toothbrush, the travel size toothpaste, dental floss, etc… Before I met my wonderful Emily, I would usually throw those away (or stick them in a drawer in my bathroom until I moved, then threw them away), I mean who needs “another” tooth brush and a travel size of toothpaste? Emily loves toothbrushes, she has one in almost every room in the house and most certainly every bathroom. She likes getting new ones, cool ones!! You know with the bendy heads and the ones that get into the “hard to reach” places. She also has a “thing” for toothpaste and at any given time has at least three brands in the master bath and several others throughout the various vanity’s around the house. So as I’m leaving the dentist office and walking down the steps to the parking lot, I lift up my bag of “goodies” in front of me for another look at the crap they just gave me, then I giggled and got excited inside. “Emily will think this is cool!!” I thought to myself, I even got some of those awesome little brushes for cleaning in between the teeth… she loves those! It’s right then I realized how COOL it is to share a life with someone who can teach you more about appreciating “the little things” and how to be happy with all of them.

Thanks Emily 😉