Jared Akers

Staying in the moment

by Jared Akers

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
-Buddha

Today, I am a spiritual warrior, fending off anything that threatens my spiritual fitness. My enemies are anxiety, depression, regret, resentment, and fear. Although some of these can be helpful at times—like the fear of cutting off my finger while using a skill saw—mostly they threaten my spiritual zen. When I’m anywhere but in the moment, I’m of no use to myself or others. I have discovered some actions that help me stay in the moment.

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What's Your Heaven Look Like?

by Jared Akers

my heaven The following scene from field of dreams always resonates with me. This is where Kevin Costner’s character Ray is asked by his father John if he’s in heaven:

John Kinsella: Is this heaven?
Ray Kinsella: It’s Iowa.
John Kinsella: Iowa? I could have sworn this was heaven.
[John starts to walk away]
Ray Kinsella: Is there a heaven?
John Kinsella: Oh yeah. It’s the place where dreams come true.
[Ray looks around, seeing his wife playing with their daughter on the porch]
Ray Kinsella: Maybe this is heaven.

For the majority of my life, I felt that “if only” I could achieve this, or obtain that, then I would be happy. And heaven? Well that was just a place I may or may not go to reflect on my life. I would deal with that then.

Ray’s heaven, and key to happiness, is a house where his wife and daughter can enjoy afternoon’s on the porch. Where he’s given the courage to follow a dream no matter how crazy others think he is. Where something inside him drives him because he knows in his heart it is true and pure; and that for him is how to be happy. It is him. Where his faith was tested and at times he considered giving up, but in the end he stuck to the truth he felt within and he discovered heaven.

My heaven is inside me today. It’s the feeling that I am human, that I need help, and if I need it today I will ask for it. Heaven is a loving wife who accepts me for who I am, and nothing else. Heaven is a loving God. Heaven is picking up the phone and listening to someone in need. But most importantly, heaven is accepting the consequences of being myself.

What’s your heaven look like?

photo credit: mlwguide

You think my problems are bad

by Jared Akers

I heard someone the other day say, “You think my problems are bad, you should see my solutions.”

For years my solution was self-will and alcohol. Today, my solutions are spiritual and mainly consist of:

Prayer and Meditation
Asking for help
Rule 62, not taking myself to seriously

Its comforting to know I don’t have to figure things out on my own. I can pray for guidance and have faith the answers will come. This faith has come from experience, its just that simple. I believe God works through other people, and by asking for help, I’m seeking a spiritual answer to my problem.

photo credit: morberg

A simple Thank You is fine

by Jared Akers

When someone gives me a gift, I should accept it. A compliment is a gift. When someone says, “you look nice today,” the correct response is “Thank You.” Not “well I don’t wear this shirt that often, it really needs ironed and my belt doesn’t actually match my shoes.” Self-deprecation is rooted in self, and it is still selfish.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.
– unknown

I used to think by declining a gift, I was being humble, “oh no, I really can’t accept that.” When I deflect a compliment, or a gift, not only am I being selfish, I’m robbing the person of the gift of giving.

So next time someone offers you a gift or a compliment, a simple “Thank You” is fine.

photo credit: psd

Having a healthy relationship with myself

by Jared Akers

Before I was able to have true and meaningful relationships with others, I had to learn how to have a relationship with myself. That’s hard when you don’t really know yourself. Although I didn’t know what I didn’t know… you know? I realized by reviewing my past and the way I had been living, I wasn’t a very good friend to myself.

How do I continue learning about myself? Here are a few actions which help me:

Prayer and Meditation
Daily inventory
Reviewing my day’s interactions with others each night before bed. Where do I need improvement? Do I need to make any apologies or ask anyone for forgiveness? Is there someone I need to forgive? Make notes and take action.
Ask someone I love how I can be more of service to them and their needs.
This can be anyone for that matter, not only a loved one but a co-worker.
Identifying emotions
When I feel a certain uneasiness, I try to identify what it is and write it down [action]. Most of the time this feeling is based in fear. But fear wears many masks so finding the reason can be difficult. As I say often, it is usually fear of losing something I think I have or not getting something I think I want. This to me is lack of faith. So one of the keys to overcoming fear is having faith.
Doing something uncomfortable
This almost always teaches me something about myself. Where my comfort zone is, is it larger or smaller, etc.. For example striking up a conversation with a total stranger. I learn several things from this: one, I’m not as introverted as I think I am and two, people are a lot friendly then I thought they were.

I can still give myself a hard time. Like mumbling under my breath “that was stupid you idiot.” If my beautiful wife Emily is within earshot, she’ll usually respond with “hey, don’t talk to my friend that way.” Now, more often then not, when my inner voice tells me I’m no good, I hear “hey don’t talk to my friend that way.” She refers to that as thrive learning sometimes.

By recognizing self-deprecation, I learn about myself. I learn to be kinder. Being kinder and more loving inwards allows me to be kinder and more loving outwards.

What do you do to learn about yourself?