Jared Akers

Spiritual Lane Change: 9 Ways to De-stress

by Jared Akers

I came across a post recently (8 Unconventional Ways to De-stress and Release Tension) at Zen Habits by guest poster Jai Kai of SharingSuccess.tv.

He lists some actions for de-stressing like finger painting, stripping down your living room, or dancing in the rain; which I think are brilliant, especially since I am a big fan of action!

However, for me, I need more than just a temporary distraction to really de-stress.

So here are my 9 ways of de-stressing:

1. God Box

Find a nice wooden box, old penny bank, or anything you can drop notes into. When something is weighing on you mind, write it down and drop it in the box and let it go! The most amazing thing will happen; months or years later you can go back and review the notes and realize how amazingly well everything turned out.

When your head starts to worry,
And your mind just can’t rest,
Put your thoughts down on paper,
And let God do the rest…

If you don’t have a box, don’t worry, just write it down. I do this a lot at night when I’m having trouble getting to sleep due to a racing mind. I get up (action) and go right it down on paper; not necessarily a solution, just what I’m worrying about. Then I know it’s there and I can let it go.
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Don’t Get Caught Overdrawn! Making Deposits into Your Spiritual Bank Account

by Jared Akers

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When Sorrow walked with me.

Robert Browning Hamilton

Desperation and pain are great motivators. I hear it over and over from people in recovery; we don’t work hard at changing something—like character defects—until they cause us great pain or sorrow. Why is that?

One reason may be because it’s uncomfortable. And as I’ve learned; change is usually not hard, just uncomfortable. Maybe we’re scared of what we’ll find. Or, worse yet, if we accept something we’ll have to do something about it. Crap.

But with time and practice, we learn to let these unpleasant experiences teach us how to become human. How to accept life on life’s terms and that it is possible to surface on the other side with grace and dignity.

When things are going great, we have little need to make withdraws from our spiritual bank account. Yet many times we fail to make deposits during these times as well. Spiritual growth is often not our first priority when things are going good. Hence the term, “pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth.” It doesn’t have to be.

Its important when times are good to make sure we’re continuing to grow spiritually and making deposits into our spiritual bank accounts. This insures that when (not if) we need to make a significant withdraw, we’re not spiritually bankrupt.

Have you made any deposits today?

photo credit: Betsssssy

How to Find Happiness in Yourself

by Jared Akers

Finding happiness within ourselves is the ultimate goal. Only then are we able to experience long-lasting happiness and the key to how to be happy.

The main benefit of finding happiness within ourselves is; it is not contingent on any outside source.

To find happiness in yourself is to discover happiness that is resilient to circumstances and external forces in your life.

For most, an inner-peace and happiness that can stand the test of despair and loss sounds unimaginable. Think of the amazing sense of security and comfort that would come with the ability to match calamity with serenity.

Emotions are Neither Good nor Bad, They’re Just Emotions

To find happiness in yourself, one must think about emotional maturity. The ability to realistically evaluate one’s emotions is vital to determining what can be done, or not, when it comes to experiences that may bring us unhappiness.

“Emotions are Neither Good nor Bad, They’re Just Emotions.” – Click to Tweet

Here’s an example. [Read more…]

Want Happiness? Be Happy Now!

by Jared Akers

Want happiness?
Suspend judgment in your heart of others as well as yourself

I heard those exact words the other day from someone.

It made me wonder, is that it? Is the key to happiness suspending judgment?

I wish it was that easy… just suspending judgment. Like it’s a switch we can flip off. Learning, and yes we can learn, to suspend judgment is a long and difficult process. It starts with building a healthy relationship with ourselves so that we need less external sources to build us up. I’ve been working on it for years, yet I still catch myself passing judgment. The difference is I catch it and try to adjust my perspective and remember where I came from. Often, I recite the prayer “God, bless them, change me.”

How To Be Happy Now!

People often ask me how to find happiness or how to be happy? So I created this site.

If you sign up you can get my free report, How To Be Happy Now: Finding Happiness in Everyday Living.” Actually, it’s more of a short 14 page eBook (but report “sounds” good since it’s free). I spent a lot of time on it and would really appreciate some feedback. My wife thinks I’m crazy for giving it away for free, as much time as I spent on it. So sign up to my newsletter and get your free report! And don’t worry about signing up, I’m not going to resell your information and I promise I won’t send you a bunch of crap you’re not interested in.

Reading time of the report is about 15-20 minutes.

Finding Happiness after Divorce: A Child’s Quest

by Jared Akers

The following article was written by my lovely wife Emily. She shares her perspective of her parents divorce as a child and how she eventually found happiness.

Emily’s Decent: A quest for happiness following divorce

Happiness after divorce seemed impossible to me. At ten years of age I witnessed my parents split, in that, they traded a verbally and physically abusive relationship for an even more confusing competition for my five siblings and my attentions. Christmas was a fairytale times two. Who could outshine who with more presents? Sadly it was lost on six lonely, confused children who just wanted the non-stop fighting to stop. For good.

I should be happy now, as, I have wished for this my entire childhood. But learning how to find happiness from divorce would take many years. I have no warm fuzzy memories tucked away of the love I am certain they once thought to be real. I planned for this and warned my younger brothers and sister of the impending divorce. How could I find happiness now that my father, whom was the “fun” part of growing up, was no longer a resident? I watched my Mother suffer her inability to find peace with her decision to end a treacherous marriage. My Father quickly found his soul-mate much to my Mothers dismay. I witnessed a lot of hand holding and laughter. My new Mother was so positive and beautiful. I longed to grasp onto their thread of contentment. All I found was the bitterness and loss my Mother fostered, like a small child’s worn, threadbare blanket. How would I get to a place where the sunshine brightened my face? [Read more…]