On June 26th my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Yesterday, on July 6th, 2010, he passed away.
I had been working on several posts talking about what I’ve experienced emotionally and spiritually over the last 10 days, things like Matching Calamity with Serenity, Fear, Sadness, Grace, Inner-Peace and Gratitude. However, since so much has happened over the last few weeks and days, I’ve decided to post them at a later date while keeping them in the context they were originally written—or something like that.
Over the years—as a result of my spiritual growth—I’ve had the opportunity to learn more about my father through changes in myself. I’m thankful to have spent some time with him on Monday the 5th and was reminded of his kindness, humor, and dedication to his family and the love that surrounds us all.
As I’m still somewhat in shock, I do feel an inner-peace that everything is right with the world. Losing someone we love dearly can be tragic and sad, yet if we let it, can be a beautiful thing. Although right now it’s hard to put in words anything beautiful about it. But I’ll try…
Today my wife, mother, sister, 4 year old niece, and I were looking through photos to show at the funeral service. My sister had explained to my niece what had happened and as we were looking through photos she said, “it’s too bad grandpa died, but it’s great that we have pictures of him.” That’s beautiful I think. I’m so grateful I have memories of a loving father and a great man.
Right now it’s the little things that are huge, things like seeing his watch and socks still sitting where they were yesterday; knowing he’ll never be putting them on again.
I’m not sure when I’ll get to posting the before mentioned articles; but here are a few articles I’ve written in the past about my dad and relevant topics:
Today Could be Your Last Chance; Make it Count! (Jan 18th, 2010)
Learning My Fathers Love Language (May 27th, 2009)
Where I’m Supposed To Be (Jan 20th, 2009)
Does Everything Really Happy for a Reason? (March 29th, 2010)
Matching Calamity with Serenity: Finding Peace in the Midst of Chaos (June 27th, 2010)