Jared Akers

Spiritual Growth: The Willingness to Change

by Jared Akers

Hiding behind the idea that I was shy, I missed out on many opportunities for spiritual, personal, or emotional growth. When I started a new job several years ago, my life coach suggested that I introduce myself to three new people in my office every morning for the first two weeks at my new job. I thought he was crazy, “that’s not like me, don’t you know I’m shy?” His response, “Jared, it’s not about you.”

“The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails.”
Bill W., July 1965 As Bill Sees It, p. 115

There are many forms of self-centeredness and selfish behavior, such as self-loathing and shyness which I often confused with humility or something else; but not self-centeredness. Regardless of my intention, I was making everything about me. When I get out of myself—like introducing myself to new people no matter how uncomfortable it is—I change for the better. For me, better means placing myself in more opportunities to be of service to others—which can feel really uncomfortable at times.

From the movie Peaceful Warrior (affiliate link):
Dan: “Hey Socrates, if you know so much, why are you working at a gas station?”
Socrates: “It’s a service station. We offer service. There’s no higher purpose.”
Dan: “… Than pumping gas?”
Socrates: “Service to others.” [Read more…]

Just Breathe!

by Jared Akers

On our recent trip to Cozumel I had an interesting experience. On our second day of diving I had an issue with my regulator. The regulator, which consists of multiple parts, is what enables you to breathe underwater. Pretty important.

First a little background.

Up until a few years ago I had never gotten sea sick, but it seems that once I started diving, smaller boats seem to make me a little nauseous. Specifically during surface intervals (SI) (the time on the surface between dives to allow an excess nitrogen release from your body). SI’s are generally spent sitting on a boat or on the way to the next dive site which can be brutal. I’ve spent a few feeding the fish. I’ve tried everything, ginger pills, bonine, etc. but this time I had a prescription for the motion sickness patch you put behind your ear. I got the prescription last summer and tried the patch a few days while at home to make sure it didn’t have any weird effect and it seemed fine. The first day diving in Cozumel I was fine without the patch, the sea was calm and the boat we were on was fairly large. The second day was calling for choppy seas so the night before I put the patch on. In the middle of the night I woke up a little dizzy, the patch was making me feel a little disoriented and nauseous. I know… isn’t it suppose to prevent that? Being a recovered alcoholic, I’m really, really, really careful about taking any medication and never take anything that makes me feel “different.” I don’t like feeling different, I like having a clear head and connected spiritually. So when I woke up a little disoriented I immediately took the patch off. [Read more…]

The Guaranteed Way to Never Say Something You'll Regret!

by Jared Akers

Today is December 3rd. I actually wrote this post last week… because on December 3rd I’ll either be relaxing on the beach reading or drift diving above the beautiful reefs of Cozumel MX. December 2nd is my wife and I’s one year wedding anniversary. We were married at Lydgate Beach on Kauai in the early morning of Dec. 2nd 2008 by the amazing Rev. Caroline Miura of Sacred Ceremonies. In attendance were myself, my wife Emily, Caroline, God, and several wonderful guests (chickens) who enjoyed cake after the wedding. It’s been an amazing year and I’d like to share something with everyone that was read as part of our wedding ceremony:

Your “homework” is to practice an ancient Sufi tradition: In your life together, speak words to your beloved only if they can pass through 3 gates: First, is it truthful? Second, is it necessary? Third, is it kind? If your words are truthful & necessary & kind, then the love you have maintained up until today will be nourished and continue to grow & your name will continue to remain safe in your beloved’s mouth.

This test of what should come out of our mouths is an amazing exercise in any situation. Let’s use this test on an often debated question:

“Do these pants make my butt look big?” [Read more…]

Avoiding Family Drama Over the Holidays

by Jared Akers

Fighting Xmas Nerds The smell of turkey roasting in the oven. How wonderful. My wife and I decided to spend most of Thanksgiving day with just ourselves, here at home. It was fun getting up early, just the two of us and making the stuffing (my moms recipe). It was actually the first time I’ve ever really stuffed it inside the bird. We got a 22 lb turkey… seems awful big for just the two of us. My step-son, his wife and our granddaughter will be over later, so we’re cooking up a feast for them and ourselves. Saturday morning we leave for a week vacation in Cozumel so the kids will be staying here all week to consume the leftovers. It worked out well.

Most years we travel to see family, which can sometimes be stressful. This time of year I hear it a lot, how family stresses people out. My family usually gets together for the normal holidays, there’s only about 15 to 20 of us regulars. I come from a small family, just one sibling, so it’s pretty low key. My wife’s family is larger and she has quite a bit of experience and wisdom when it comes to dealing with family. So we put our heads together and came up with a few ideas of how best to handle family members that seem to get under our skin around the holidays. [Read more…]

Live and Let Live: 9 Ways of Letting Go

by Jared Akers

Recently I was involved in a discussion on the topic of Live and Let Live. The term live and let live can be viewed in several ways, but basically it means letting go and stop trying to control others. Let them live their lives just as you want to live yours. Guess it’s sort of back to the golden rule.

I think the Free Dictionary sums it up nicely, “to accept other people as they are, although they may have a different way of life”

The first thing that comes to my mind when I hear someone say “live and let live” is the song “Live and Let Die” by Gun’s and Rose’s. I know it was originally performed by Paul McCartney and Wings for the James Bond film, but that’s where my head goes. But the next place it goes is the Serenity Prayer:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

For me, this prayer and mindset can be used in almost any situation. So my list of 9 ways could simply be, say this prayer 9 times. But that’s too easy, so here’s a list of ways you can practice live and let live: [Read more…]