Jared Akers

How to Overcome Depression and Find Happiness

by Jared Akers

Firstly, if you feel as if you may be suffering from depression, you should seek professional help. There is no shame in asking for help. Not asking for help kept me sick for many years. We’re as sick as our secrets and having someone to be totally honest with such as a therapist, can be the first step in finding happiness. Additionally, always check with your physician about depressive feelings you may be having. There are medications which may help and/or you may even be on medications that are contributing to your feelings of depression.

Can’t, If, When, and But never did anything

Depression can manifest itself in many ways from pessimism, anguish, hopelessness, sadness, or a constant focus on what is wrong or not right with us. My depression has taken on many faces throughout the years. The depression I felt for many years was a result of the way I was living. I was drinking a lot and knew inside that I wasn’t living life to the fullest. This caused me to think less of myself and concentrate on all the things going wrong in my life as opposed to things I should be grateful for. Motivation was an elusive thing for me and preferred to sleep most of the time. Life just seemed so hard.

“When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’”
-Sydney J. Harris

In hindsight, I see now the depression was a result of where I had put myself in my life. I found my self in jobs and relationships I didn’t really like or want. Compounding the problem was the realization that I had put myself in these positions. The reason being I lacked a good understanding of what I wanted or needed out of life. Most of the times, I felt as if I didn’t deserve to be happy; which is ludicrous as everyone deserves to find happiness! [Read more…]

How to Find Happiness Within

by Jared Akers

Finding happiness within is a vital key to finding happiness. I know what you’re thinking… semantics right? Well let’s take a look at the definition of within:

1. In or into the inner part; inside.
2. Inside the mind, heart, or soul; inwardly.

Let’s look precisely at 2. Inside the mind, heart, or soul; inwardly.

Many of use can get the concept of happiness inside our mind, but we fall short in regards to the heart and soul aspects. I’ve always liked the saying, “the farthest distance is the 12 inches between our head and heart.”

It seems no matter how much we think about happiness and what it takes to achieve, it remains short lived or temporary at most. We think we know, or have an idea of what happiness is, so we set out the move toward that idea.

Yet we find once we put the idea into action, the happiness is most often as fleeting as the thought itself.

Long-lasting happiness is achieved by tapping into the desires and needs of the heart and soul. Finding these desires starts with knowing who we truly are in our soul, not just who we think we our in our mind. [Read more…]

How to Find Inner Happiness

by Jared Akers

The term “inner happiness” is extremely important. A common consensus of happiness and inner-peace seekers is that true lasting happiness comes from inside us; thus, “inner happiness.”

The reason this is such a vital part of long-lasting happiness, is that it is not contingent on outside forces or influences.

We all know how difficult it can be to find happiness, especially when we have no idea where to look.

Maybe you have always been successful at setting and achieving goals; striving for higher aspirations and constantly moving towards some ultimate goal.

Even in my younger years, I found myself often setting higher goals for myself and eventually reaching them; and honestly, I really didn’t find it that difficult. The difficult part was finding a goal that left me completely satisfied and internally happy.

The happiness I found was short lived and always left me still wanting more. Not until I stopped measuring my happiness by what I achieved, did I start to find inner peace, and ultimately inner happiness. [Read more…]

Today Could Be Your Last Chance; Make it Count!

by Jared Akers

Have you told the people in your life how much they mean to you recently? We all know this is important, but do we really take the time to connect with them on an emotional level and tell them how much they mean to us? Some family members may be uncomfortable with heartfelt discussions, but when they’re gone, baby they’re gone.

Shortly after I was born, my father built us a home with his own hands just outside the city where he worked construction. However, deep inside he’d always dreamed of owning and running a farm. I think he liked the idea of working for himself and the freedom it brings. Of his generation, the greatest compliment was “he’s a hard worker,” and that was/is my dad; a hard worker. I think he realized if he worked as hard for himself as he did for “the man,” he was sure to succeed.

Shortly after my fifth birthday, we packed up everything and moved to a farm house ten miles outside a small town in East Central Kansas; the four of us and 80 acres. What I remember most about the house; bitter cold. Winter would often find my older sister and me sleeping in the dining room around the wood burning stove. My mother would heat bricks on the stove, wrap them in towels, and put them in the bottom of our sleeping bags. She was so thrifty; still is.

[Read more…]

Pain or Pleasure, What’s Your Payoff?

by Jared Akers

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
–Albert Einstein

Is there a payoff in everything we do? Whether we experience pain or pleasure, must we always get something in return? The payoff. As people react to our behaviors, we often find ourselves in a position to be hurt. Conversely, we also have the ability to place ourselves in situations that bring great joy.

This is not to say bad or good things do not just happen, but when the results seem to be tied to our behavior, maybe we need to stop and review what our payoff is.

If you find yourself in constant conflict with the world or those around you, stop to see what your payoff is; is it emotional pain or fear? Maybe the payoff (fear or pain) is validation for the feelings of insufficiency you have for yourself. I was stuck in this cycle for years in regards to intimate relationships. No matter how much I liked someone, the relationship would ultimately end; and I would once again be alone. The payoff was validation that I was incapable of being loved unconditionally for who I was. Once I learned to love myself unconditionally, things changed.

It has been my experience that seeking pleasure as the payoff in and of itself, is misguided. At most the pleasure is short lived and thus we spend the majority of our time and effort chasing pleasure.

The less we expect a payoff, the more free we become to experience pleasure in everything we do.

photo credit: lolika pop