The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Is there a payoff in everything we do? Whether we experience pain or pleasure, must we always get something in return? The payoff. As people react to our behaviors, we often find ourselves in a position to be hurt. Conversely, we also have the ability to place ourselves in situations that bring great joy.
This is not to say bad or good things do not just happen, but when the results seem to be tied to our behavior, maybe we need to stop and review what our payoff is.
If you find yourself in constant conflict with the world or those around you, stop to see what your payoff is; is it emotional pain or fear? Maybe the payoff (fear or pain) is validation for the feelings of insufficiency you have for yourself. I was stuck in this cycle for years in regards to intimate relationships. No matter how much I liked someone, the relationship would ultimately end; and I would once again be alone. The payoff was validation that I was incapable of being loved unconditionally for who I was. Once I learned to love myself unconditionally, things changed.
It has been my experience that seeking pleasure as the payoff in and of itself, is misguided. At most the pleasure is short lived and thus we spend the majority of our time and effort chasing pleasure.
The less we expect a payoff, the more free we become to experience pleasure in everything we do.
photo credit: lolika pop