Jared Akers

How to Find Inner Peace and Happiness

by Jared Akers

So you want to know how to “find” inner peace and happiness?

If you’ve been around How to Be Happy long enough, you probably already know what I’m about to say… that’s right, find inner peace and you’ll discover happiness.

Happiness is a by-product of inner peace; so you don’t really find it, it finds you. If you’ve read my report, How To Be Happy Now, then you know what I’m talking about.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.
-Mahatma Gandhi

Looking at the Gandhi quote, happiness is a result of having our thoughts and actions in sync. But what about people who think angry and act angry; are they happy? Hmm, that’s a great question. I’m sure that is not what Gandhi was talking about, but I would add that if your actions cause harm or pain to others, that would not equate to happiness for yourself. That is if you have any type of conscience or moral compass; this obviously excludes sociopaths. Speaking of sociopaths, that reminds me of the first time I met my wife’s father and stepmother… You all like stories right? (I’ll digress for a moment) [Read more…]

Overcoming Fear

by Jared Akers

It’s a rainy day in 2004 and my fiance’ and I are sitting at an intersection waiting for the light to change. I can see our destination across the intersection; a loan office where a check is waiting for our engagement ring. My gut is telling me this isn’t the right thing to be doing (the marriage not the loan) so I pick a fight. I’m not equipped emotionally to know what I need or want out of life; all I know is the fear of being alone. My fiance’ begins to cry and I fear she does not love me, so I tell her I love her and everything is going to be OK. We pick up the loan check. We get married in January of ‘05 and annulled six months later. Looking back, fear influenced nearly every decision in my life.

As I have transformed my life into a purposeful spiritual journey, one thing has become abundantly clear; fear had been and continues to be at the root of most of my problems. The fear I experience is usually rooted in two beliefs: 1) that I’m not going to get something I think I want, or 2) that I’m about to lose something I think I have. I emphasis think in both instances because most of what I have is merely an illusion. In that they’re material or contingent on others; neither one of which I have control over. What I do have control over is my thoughts, where most of my fears are manifested.

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

Fear as a Motivator

[Read more…]

The Sure Fire Way to Sabotage Any Relationship (plus the top 6 reasons to avoid it)

by Jared Akers

Want to sign your relationship’s death certificate? Then keep trying to “get back to the way things were.”

I hear people say “I wish we could just get back to the way we were” all the time, I’ve been guilty of it myself—a long time ago. It’s dangerous and it’s sentencing your relationship to failure; or at best a boring and emotionally and physically unsatisfying relationship.

Maybe in your relationship you’re trying to decide if you should stay or go, or save your marriage? If you’re wanting to stay and truly build a strong and lasting relationship, you need to start asking the right questions.

But if you’re hell bent on sabotaging it… just read in.

The top 6 reasons why this thinking will lead to the end of your relationship

6. It’s Impossible

So quit trying. The way things were are the way things were, not the way things are. Concentrate on what you can do today to improve your relationship; not what your partner did or didn’t do in the past or may or may not do in the future. The only thing you can control is right now; so go do something nice for your loved one this moment to increase the chance of a better tomorrow.

5. Expectations

“Today’s expectations are tomorrow resentments” or “expectations are resentments in training.” Having unreasonable expectations set upon ourselves and others is the quickest way to resentments. Expecting someone to be the same person they were years or even a few months ago is unreasonable. As far as I’m concerned, resentment should be considered stealing as it robs us of the precious time we have on earth which could be spent loving. [Read more…]

Creating a Happiness Plan

by Jared Akers

This is a guest post by Rita in which she provides us with some simple and practical ways to cultivate happiness in our lives. Rita is an aspiring author, mentor and editor of Snubbr. Rita is currently writing a book on simple, practical ways to cultivate inner peace. Thanks Rita!

If there’s one common goal amongst the vast majority of us who are living on earth it is to be happy. Everyone wants to live their lives to their fullest, experiencing all their wishes and dreams coming true right before their eyes.

Unfortunately dreams don’t always come true in real life, but with a happiness plan, you can be sure that whatever does unfold before you, you are making the most of it and living each day to your best.

Often people will state that they are very unhappy, yet never do much in the way of assessing what they can do to change their status and find the true happiness they seek. They hope that their everyday actions will just eventually have them stumbling upon happiness, yet much of the time don’t even know what ‘happiness’ represents to them.

Creating your very own happiness plan is the best way to change this and get your life headed in the right direction.

Here is what you need to know.
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Love and Happiness

by Jared Akers

Can you have happiness without love?

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question lately. My opinion is; no you cannot find true lasting happiness without love. This does not mean “love” in the sense of an intimate relationship with a life partner or spouse. Granted, loving someone and being loved can and does bring tremendous joy, happiness, and purpose to our lives, but it is not a requirement for happiness. We only need to think about monks or people of highly enlightened states who have found happiness within themselves. In this context I’m talking about love for oneself.

For years I was unhappy. Sure I seemed happy on the outside and thought I was happy, but I always felt as if something was missing in my life. Any happiness I experienced was short lived. My happiness mostly came from professional accomplishments or material possessions; they weren’t keys to happiness rather but distractions. My answer to how to find happiness or “how to be happy” was anything that distracted me from knowing my true self. Intimate relationships never lasted very long either, usually because I felt as if I was giving up something; like personal freedom or the pursuit of my dreams. I know, it’s backwards thinking. At least a way of thinking that’s bound to leave me lonely. [Read more…]