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HTBH 003: Nurturing Relationships

by Jared Akers

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how to be happy podcastWelcome to the How to Be Happy Podcast Episode #3. In this session Emily and I talk about nurturing relationships.

Some topics you’ll hear in this episode:

Keeping the Love (relationship) Alive

  • In the early part of a relationship, it’s easier to be physical than emotional. Physical interaction is an easy way to say, “Hey, I’m really digging you!”
  • As the relationship matures, you still show love in other ways
  • Things to do For Him: Emily give’s a shout out to the “ladies at the Starbucks of Summit Fair, Lee’s Summit, MO where she was asked about loving things to do for your husband
    • Leaving love notes (maybe in your husbands coat pocket)
    • Emily mentions doing things like folding a wash clothe nice or a chocolate under the pillow like you would see in a five star hotel
    • Letting him know it’s OK to enjoy himself and relax
  • Things to do For Her:
    • The obvious ones, flowers (for no reason)
      • We talk a little bit about orchids. Each has its own love language like people sometimes
    • Find out what they “dig” – Pay attention
    • Just be kind
    • Leave notes
  • Jared’s a PC, Emily is a MAC and we make it work just fine
  • Date Night
    • Schedule time when it’s just the two of you
  • Communication is always key
  • Spontaneity
    • Be willing to be spontaneous
    • Although communicate, some people like to be mentally prepared, like when they have an expectation
    • We talk a little bit about traveling and how Jared used to schedule everything. And how it’s more important now to “wear life like a loose garment” and go with the flow
    • Decide “how big of a deal is it” if we decide to go do something else  – other than what we expected
    • We share a story about our first trip together to St. Croix. Expectations and that we can decide, are we going to be part of the problem, or the solution? And Jared get’s sprayed by ants in the Jeep

Alone Time

  • Keeping Self Image – Independence
  • Waiting on your spouse to get read – don’t rush them
  • Hobbies
  • Having alone time is good – then you have something to share with each other later

Friends

  • Circle of Friends – How much investment do you point in a relationship that’s not positive?
  • Hanging out with People Who Inspire You
  • Investing in Relationships

Family

  • Family is important but we can still surround ourselves with people that inspire us
  • Love more by caring less

Some items reference or mentioned in this episode:

  • “How do you get your nearest and dearest to change their behavior? Simple: Stop giving a damn what they do, says Martha Beck.” Martha Beck’s How to Love More by Caring Less in Oprah Magazine.
  • St. Croix
  • Flowers

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How to Find Happiness in Marriage

by Jared Akers

married couple on beachI’ve had the experience of being in two marriages.

Well, the first one ended in an annulment 6 months into it so “technically” we were never married, but we were both unhappy.

Today, I’ve been happily married for a year and two months. You may be asking yourself, “What does this guy know about finding happiness in marriage?”

That’s a good question, just read on and make up your own mind.

Before we get into how to find happiness in marriage, it’s important to provide some personal history about myself. In doing so, I hope to help others realize why they may currently be unhappy; and ultimately how my wife and I have found happiness in our marriage.

For most of my life, my relationships lasted—on average—six months. It seems that whenever someone got too close, I found ways to end the relationship. Most generally it was the, “it’s not you it’s me” line. However, I failed to realize this was what I was doing.

I felt as if the relationship was cutting into “me” time and was getting in the way of my goals. I did not want to put in the time it took to build healthy relationships with the opposite sex. Of course I wanted someone to love and cherish me, but when they started talking about marriage or long-term commitments, I usually started thinking about ways to get out of the relationship.

Consequently, this led me to have one-foot-out-the-door in relationships and emotionally unavailable. In reality, I didn’t know enough about myself to know what I wanted and needed in a partner or spouse. [Read more…]

About Me

Jared & Emily Akers Hello, I'm Jared Akers. And that lovely lady next to me, that's my wife Emily. This photo was taken in 2009 while on the island of Curacao SCUBA diving. We're happy, and want you to be happy too.

Learn more about me.

Recent Posts

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