Jared Akers

Baby Steps: Climbing Mountains One Action at a Time

by Jared Akers

For the last several years I have been speaking once a month at a drug and rehab center; the same one which I had been a patient myself for alcohol. On the third Sunday of every month I would make the 1 1/2 hour drive to the center and speak for an hour. I would talk about my life, play some songs I’d written, and share my experience, strength, and hope.

I would share what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. Last month was my last time speaking. At least for now. I decided to quit and give someone else a chance to fill my slot. I struggled with the decision for a while, but prayed about it often. It has been a really important part of my recovery.

Last Sunday would have been my weekend, and I didn’t even realize it until Monday morning. Probably because I spent Sunday afternoon with my wife, step-son and daughter, and our beautiful granddaughter. It is so amazing what the smile of a child can do.

I remember sitting there when I was a patient, listening to speakers like myself, and hearing them talk about how bad it had been, what happened, and how amazing their life had become. I would take notes. Could that possibly happen for me?

I really couldn’t relate, my life was such a mess and I was just struggling to find a reason to live. I used the power of now often, just looking around at where I was, concentrating on the fact that in that moment, I was alive and OK. Never mind the piles of bills I had accumulated, the wreckage I had caused in other peoples lives, plus no job and no place to live when I got out of treatment.

I learned to just concentrate on what I could do that day. “So then, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Today has enough trouble of its own” (Mathew 6:34). I was really forced into each moment, simply to survive. My counselor, bless her heart, helped me so much. She offered a simple suggestion of making a list.

A list of all the things I was worried about. So I wrote down things like; call Ford to see about getting out of my lease, find a place to live, ask for help with income tax, etc. Each day I would look at the list and ask: Is there something on here I can take action on today? If YES, I would take the action; if NO, I would put it out of my mind and go on with my day. [Read more…]

The Best Kept Secret to Finding Happiness

by Jared Akers

The hardest thing about finding happiness is that you can’t so to speak…. happiness is a by-product of living the right kind of life. Happiness is the result of living a life which is inline with your ideal self. So how do you know what your ideal self is? That question is not so easy to answer. But there is a way to get there!

Finding one’s ideal self must come from emotional maturity and most often through a life of finding out what happiness is NOT about. From my experience, a moral compass and “gut” leading me towards my ideal self, was the result of hard work and dedication. It took me years to get what I felt on the inside inline with what I was showing on the outside.

If you are truly in touch with your inner-self, emotionally mature, and know what you want in life; you have realized true inner-peace and happiness cannot be bought or sold. [Read more…]

Enhance Relationships With the 90 Second Rule

by Jared Akers

You’ve been at the office all day, as soon as you get home and walk in the door, you’re immediately hit with a dozen questions by a loved one. How do you react? What’s your initial feeling inside? If you’re like me, you can sometimes feel a little… annoyed. Although I don’t really like that word—annoyed—because it seems a little self-righteous. Sort of like the word tolerance—like I am so much better, that it’s my “duty” to tolerate people. In my opinion, if I’m tolerating something, I’m coming from a place of being better than and not equal to. So I need to watch that. If I’m truly in a serene and place of inner-peace, nothing can throw me off. Although when a deer almost ran across the road in front of me on the way home from the gym the other night, that pretty much threw me off.

Part of the St. Francis Prayer is, “Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted – to understand, than to be understood – to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.” That means try to understand that maybe the person is excited to see you, has been thinking about these things all day and wants your opinion—or just to listen. Likewise, if you’re the one asking all the questions, try understanding that your loved may like to slowly unwind when they get home. But by all means, PAY ATTENTION TO ONE ANOTHER! Especially in the first 90 seconds. [Read more…]

Laughter is Spiritual Crack

by Jared Akers

Last night my wife and I met up with some friends for a great dinner and conversation. I love those times when you laugh so much your face hurts! It was the first time I’ve had a great steak in quite a while also. I mention the steak because my wife and I have been working hard on getting in shape for our upcoming trip to Cozumel in late November. We love SCUBA diving so we’re hoping that by getting in shape, we’ll not only look better, but won’t be so wiped out after a long day of diving. Oh, and I used to eat a lot of Ribeye’s with tons of fat on them…

Here’s my shameless plug (no affiliate links), but it’s really working! My wife and I are following the fitness tips found in the Vacation Body Blueprint, which is a free eBook you can get that outlines a basic routine for reducing body fat. We joined the gym on October 2nd and have been going 5 days a week since. It was slow going at first, but on October 13th I downloaded the eBook. At that point I weighed 183 lbs and was at about 24% body fat. As of this morning, I weigh 177 lbs and 20% body fat. I use a scale and a digital caliper to calculate body fat but I’m still not sure how accurate it is. But I can tell you, my pants are fitting better! The biggest key to loosing body fat, diet. Period. You need, on average, a calorie deficiency. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “you can’t out exercise a bad diet.” If interested in my workout, I can post that in another post (let me know of you guys are interested in my workout and diet), or you can follow the link and get the Vacation Body Blueprint.

OK, back to laughter…

Rule #62: Never take yourself too seriously [Read more…]

It Ain't Easy Being Me: Avoiding Self-Destruction

by Jared Akers

Today I first want to encourage everyone to go check out Dena’s blog, Evolution You. Dena asked me to write a guest post on my experience with addiction and alcoholism. More specifically, how I overcome addiction each and every day. So please check it out, Overcoming Addiction Through Spiritual Growth.

Now let’s talk a little about self-destruction.

When I was in an alcoholism treatment center, I always had my guitar with me. One of my favorite songs I would play is, It Ain’t Easy Being Me by Chris Knight. The music video is shot in the middle of a demolition derby and presents a interesting visual as to the theme of the song. Self-Destruction. Most of the patients and myself could relate. I still play the song today when I share my story at treatment centers, but as a reminder of how I used to be. [Read more…]