Comments on: The Spiritual Serenity Series: Step 6, Action http://jaredakers.com/the-spiritual-serenity-series-step-6-action/ Happiness for the Practical Mind Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:05:44 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jared http://jaredakers.com/the-spiritual-serenity-series-step-6-action/#comment-843 Jared Mon, 10 Aug 2009 12:30:52 +0000 http://www.spiritualzen.net/?p=783#comment-843 @Madison, <strong>How long does it take to do the steps?</strong> It's different for everyone, my sponsor took me through all 12 steps in about a year. But it also depends on how hard the individual is willing to work or how desperate they are. Everyone is different, everyone has different things they're dealing with. When I work the steps with guys I sponsor, I generally do them pretty quickly, believing that the miracle happens from the action taken, not sitting around talking about it. That has been my experience. But like I said, its different for everyone. The best advice is to find someone that has something you want, and simply ask them to show you how they got there. Oh, and maybe even find someone who you think will ask you to do things you don't want to do ;-) <strong>Do you think the steps can be done without a sponsor?</strong> No, definitely not in my case. We cannot fix ourselves, that has been proven <strong>or we would have done it a long time ago</strong>. You can't fix a broken thinker with a broken thinker. We need an entirely new way of thinking, and something truly magical happens when people get together and share. Something that just cannot happen alone. Believe me, I Googled the 12 steps, sponsorship, recovery, all that and tried it on my own. It simply didn't work for me. And remember, I'm shy!! So asking for help was a huge, huge, deal for me. I had spent my entire life working on becoming self-dependent and not needing anyone! Let me tell you, the most amazing part about this entire process, is going through it, then watching others walk through it and completely change. You truly do get to witness miracles. <strong>Which was the hardest step for you?</strong> None of them were hard compared to the way I was living. After I chose <a href="http://www.spiritualzen.net/index.php/2009/03/11/the-greatest-gift/" rel="nofollow">life</a>, every decision after that was pretty much a "no brainer." But if I had to choose one, I would say step 4 in the 12 steps, "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." Which is common. I wasn't sure why I needed to go through my past and rehash old feelings I thought I'd stuffed away for good. But it was part of the process and required if I truly wanted what others had, "a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps" which for me has meant true inner peace and serenity. Again, if we want something we've never had, we must do something we've never done. You know all the cliches right? If we keep doing what we're doing, we're going to keep getting what we're getting... they all apply. Once I worked through the steps, I work them over as I walk others through them. I get to witness the miracle over and over again. My view on the world and my place in it is completely different now then it was before, and I get to work on areas of my life I didn't even have before. Do people stay sober without working the steps? Sure. I didn't drink for over six years when I first quit in 1997, but I've quit drinking many times, I knew I could do that. The question was how do I stay stopped and maintain true long-term sobriety? I knew I could just "not drink" but was still always left with that hole inside. In order to have a chance for healthy long-term recovery, I needed a complete psychic change, I had to find a way to truly love and accept myself (so I came to find out). That is what I got out of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. @Madison,
How long does it take to do the steps?
It’s different for everyone, my sponsor took me through all 12 steps in about a year. But it also depends on how hard the individual is willing to work or how desperate they are. Everyone is different, everyone has different things they’re dealing with. When I work the steps with guys I sponsor, I generally do them pretty quickly, believing that the miracle happens from the action taken, not sitting around talking about it. That has been my experience. But like I said, its different for everyone. The best advice is to find someone that has something you want, and simply ask them to show you how they got there. Oh, and maybe even find someone who you think will ask you to do things you don’t want to do ;-)

Do you think the steps can be done without a sponsor?
No, definitely not in my case. We cannot fix ourselves, that has been proven or we would have done it a long time ago. You can’t fix a broken thinker with a broken thinker. We need an entirely new way of thinking, and something truly magical happens when people get together and share. Something that just cannot happen alone. Believe me, I Googled the 12 steps, sponsorship, recovery, all that and tried it on my own. It simply didn’t work for me. And remember, I’m shy!! So asking for help was a huge, huge, deal for me. I had spent my entire life working on becoming self-dependent and not needing anyone!

Let me tell you, the most amazing part about this entire process, is going through it, then watching others walk through it and completely change. You truly do get to witness miracles.

Which was the hardest step for you?
None of them were hard compared to the way I was living. After I chose life, every decision after that was pretty much a “no brainer.” But if I had to choose one, I would say step 4 in the 12 steps, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Which is common. I wasn’t sure why I needed to go through my past and rehash old feelings I thought I’d stuffed away for good. But it was part of the process and required if I truly wanted what others had, “a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps” which for me has meant true inner peace and serenity.

Again, if we want something we’ve never had, we must do something we’ve never done. You know all the cliches right? If we keep doing what we’re doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting… they all apply. Once I worked through the steps, I work them over as I walk others through them. I get to witness the miracle over and over again. My view on the world and my place in it is completely different now then it was before, and I get to work on areas of my life I didn’t even have before.

Do people stay sober without working the steps? Sure. I didn’t drink for over six years when I first quit in 1997, but I’ve quit drinking many times, I knew I could do that. The question was how do I stay stopped and maintain true long-term sobriety? I knew I could just “not drink” but was still always left with that hole inside. In order to have a chance for healthy long-term recovery, I needed a complete psychic change, I had to find a way to truly love and accept myself (so I came to find out). That is what I got out of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

]]> By: Madison http://jaredakers.com/the-spiritual-serenity-series-step-6-action/#comment-842 Madison Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:34:27 +0000 http://www.spiritualzen.net/?p=783#comment-842 Hi Jared, I have been following your series about the doing the steps. It intrigues me because although I am 1 year sober after 17 years of hardcore drinking I have not been to an AA meeting this time round. What you write makes a lot of sense and I am beginning to wonder if it is time for me to do the 12 steps. You seem to have come so far by doing these steps and so have others I know in recovery. How long does it take to do the steps? Do you think the steps can be done without a sponsor? Which was the hardest step for you? Hi Jared,

I have been following your series about the doing the steps. It intrigues me because although I am 1 year sober after 17 years of hardcore drinking I have not been to an AA meeting this time round.
What you write makes a lot of sense and I am beginning to wonder if it is time for me to do the 12 steps. You seem to have come so far by doing these steps and so have others I know in recovery.
How long does it take to do the steps? Do you think the steps can be done without a sponsor?
Which was the hardest step for you?

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