Welcome back to The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness. Last week we looked at step 5, Confession. This week we are looking at:
Step 6: Action
So far we’ve talked a lot. Although working on the inventory and sharing our secrets with someone else could be considered action, it’s now time to see how serious we really are about change.
Not once in my life have I gained true spiritual growth by simply thinking or intellectualizing about something.
We’re talking about action, like in 9 Ways to Get the Funk Outta’ Here, “You can’t think your way into good living, you must live your way into good thinking“
This is where the rubber hits the road.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”
-Lao Tzu
When I started my current job, my life coach/spiritual advisor suggested that I go around each morning and introduce myself to three new people. I thought he was kidding. He wasn’t. I felt that would be out of character for me, after all, I’m shy. He said, “Jared, you’re making it all about you, it’s not about you. It’s about meeting new people and building relationships. Being shy is another way of being self-absorbed and self-centered.”
So I went around each morning for that first week and introduced myself to three different people. It felt good and I realized I can be a pretty friendly guy after all. I sure did feel better about myself .
In looking at how action is going to help us achieve inner peace and happiness, lets look at why we fall short of these goals in the first place. Well that’s not hard, take a look back at Step 4, our Self-Searching inventory. We have a list of actions and/or things which have caused us pain and which we are remorseful for.
If we’ve done the work to this point and had someone help us identify why we did such things, we are equipped with some real valuable information. Information that helps us understand why and what we have done to ourselves and others. We must now take action to correct any of these wrongs that we can, listening carefully to our conscience which will guide us in knowing which of these amends we should make. Again, it is beneficial to have someone experienced in this process. We do not want to cause any more harm to ourselves or others. More importantly, it is not our place to clear our own conscience at the expense of someone else.
So we go over our list and realize there are some things we can make right. We can offer up some apologies to those we may have stepped on or hurt. Most importantly, we can now realize the how and why of our actions, making our amends sincere and honest. We must remember to find empathy for ourselves as well. During this process, I realized I held deep resentments towards myself. This step gave me a start on living the right way, by putting right living into action and practice. Going through the actions of making amends and setting things right, was the beginning of aligning my intentions with my actions—something I have found to be necessary for inner peace and happiness.
This process of action is just the beginning of our new life. Cleaning up all the wreckage from our past may take years and there may be parts we can never make right. If that is the case, we work towards forgiving ourselves. Again, taking action by prayer and asking God for forgiveness. It will come if we ask. As we go about living the right way, our self-image and esteem heals and we find one day we have forgiven ourselves for those things we felt we could never make right. This is the way it has happened for me.
Action, Action, Action
I can read every self-help and personal development book ever written, then put them down and carry on with the way things were. All the while wondering why nothing has changed. If nothing changes, then nothing changes. Simple actions can bring about huge change. Something as simple as introducing yourself to three new people each day, can bring about spiritual growth and new knowledge about yourself.
Remember, “You can’t think your way into good living, you must live your way into good thinking” It’s all about action!
What action are you going to take today?
Up next, Step 7: Maintenance
Photo credit: vgm8383
About Jared Akers
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Jared,
I have been following your series about the doing the steps. It intrigues me because although I am 1 year sober after 17 years of hardcore drinking I have not been to an AA meeting this time round.
What you write makes a lot of sense and I am beginning to wonder if it is time for me to do the 12 steps. You seem to have come so far by doing these steps and so have others I know in recovery.
How long does it take to do the steps? Do you think the steps can be done without a sponsor?
Which was the hardest step for you?
@Madison,
How long does it take to do the steps?
It’s different for everyone, my sponsor took me through all 12 steps in about a year. But it also depends on how hard the individual is willing to work or how desperate they are. Everyone is different, everyone has different things they’re dealing with. When I work the steps with guys I sponsor, I generally do them pretty quickly, believing that the miracle happens from the action taken, not sitting around talking about it. That has been my experience. But like I said, its different for everyone. The best advice is to find someone that has something you want, and simply ask them to show you how they got there. Oh, and maybe even find someone who you think will ask you to do things you don’t want to do
Do you think the steps can be done without a sponsor?
No, definitely not in my case. We cannot fix ourselves, that has been proven or we would have done it a long time ago. You can’t fix a broken thinker with a broken thinker. We need an entirely new way of thinking, and something truly magical happens when people get together and share. Something that just cannot happen alone. Believe me, I Googled the 12 steps, sponsorship, recovery, all that and tried it on my own. It simply didn’t work for me. And remember, I’m shy!! So asking for help was a huge, huge, deal for me. I had spent my entire life working on becoming self-dependent and not needing anyone!
Let me tell you, the most amazing part about this entire process, is going through it, then watching others walk through it and completely change. You truly do get to witness miracles.
Which was the hardest step for you?
None of them were hard compared to the way I was living. After I chose life, every decision after that was pretty much a “no brainer.” But if I had to choose one, I would say step 4 in the 12 steps, “Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Which is common. I wasn’t sure why I needed to go through my past and rehash old feelings I thought I’d stuffed away for good. But it was part of the process and required if I truly wanted what others had, “a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps” which for me has meant true inner peace and serenity.
Again, if we want something we’ve never had, we must do something we’ve never done. You know all the cliches right? If we keep doing what we’re doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting… they all apply. Once I worked through the steps, I work them over as I walk others through them. I get to witness the miracle over and over again. My view on the world and my place in it is completely different now then it was before, and I get to work on areas of my life I didn’t even have before.
Do people stay sober without working the steps? Sure. I didn’t drink for over six years when I first quit in 1997, but I’ve quit drinking many times, I knew I could do that. The question was how do I stay stopped and maintain true long-term sobriety? I knew I could just “not drink” but was still always left with that hole inside. In order to have a chance for healthy long-term recovery, I needed a complete psychic change, I had to find a way to truly love and accept myself (so I came to find out). That is what I got out of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.