Welcome back to The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness. Last week we looked at step 4, Self-Searching. This week we are looking at:
Step 5: Confession
Oh great you’re saying… I have to confess my sins? Actually… yes. Admitting our faults to another human being, someone qualified to hear them, is an important step in being honest with ourselves. We hold back nothing for I am as sick as my secrets.
How is telling someone else our deepest secrets being honest with ourselves? It is the process of saying the words, getting them out into the open, which helps in our healing. By healing our self-image and moving closer to a real perception of ourselves, we move towards truth—truth about ourselves. Not until we truly know who we are, can we move forward into what we might become.
We often find that many of our secrets, things that we secretly condemn ourselves for, are not as bad as they may seem. It is important we share them with someone else for this amazing and spiritual transformation to work. So we find someone who is familiar with the process and understands what we are trying to accomplish.
Sitting in a room with myself and admitting to the wall my deepest secrets does not accomplish anything. I tried that for years and nothing happened. Remember, we cannot fix a broken mind with a broken mind. Moreover, we have already accepted something has to change, so we are wiling to move forward in the process.
I have used chaplains, life coaches, counselors, and therapists for this process. If we are serious about change, we find someone!
I have gone through this process several times, and I can tell you it is not as bad as it seems. In my experience, the wrongs I have done are causing more soul sickness then the actual acts themselves. It is important that I get them out into the open and discuss them with someone if I am ever going to forgive myself and move on.
The result of this process is a clear and objective look back at the patterns in our lives. This is another reason why we must share our inventory with another person. The person can help us see events in our past for what they really are—events in our past. Maybe we have been too hard on ourselves for something we have done. Conversely, maybe something happened in our past that is influencing our behavior more than we realize.
My experience with this process has been amazing. The act of sharing my deepest secrets with someone brings me more into the spirit of the universe. It is one step closer to being a part of as opposed to a part from. When I reach out to another human being and ask for help and guidance, I become receptive to the possibility of miracles and the power of love. True happiness and inner peace begins with self-acceptance. Self-acceptance begins with forgiveness, forgiveness of oneself. By confessing my faults to someone else, I confess that I am open to the power of forgiveness. It is from this place I have a start for forgiving myself. Only then may I experience the true power of forgiving others.
Next up, Step 6: Action!
What do you think about confessing your deepest secrets to someone else?
Photo credit: h.koppdelaney
About Jared Akers
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
No matter what kind of mood I am in, your posts always bring me back to focus on what is real and important. Thanks for this post.
Molly B,
You’re welcome. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment
Hi Jared,
I find this series very thought provoking – the way you present this very deep journey -free of hype- it comes across as honest and the simple way it’s presented makes it feel so ‘do-able’.
Finola,
Thanks for your comment. Anything is do-able if we set our mind to it. I’ve learned that real change comes through action! Which I talk about next. We can read all the self-help or personal development books ever written, but unless we take action, we’re never going to change. I’ve learned that if it’s something I find uncomfortable, it means I should do it and there some opportunity for growth there.
Beginning a spiritual journey recently (April, 2008); it’s been a true pleasure stumbling into your site today!! I’m connected with Spiritual Rivera for almost a year and quite frankly today was the day to stumble into your site. I’ve battled cocaine addiction for nearly 15 years of my life and I can’t say that I’ve gotton completely free from the darn thing! However, I must say that whatever use i’ve accomplished this past year is an unpleasant one!! The substance has definately lost it’s “zing”…. The actual using was merely a physchological one!! For the actual “high” has been gone for approximately 5-8 years. As I write, tears arise because I know deeply that I have all the tools necessary to do this thing. I want to be able to receive my paycheck and not have that “compulsive” feeling that overwhelms me every other week!! As long as I’m broke I’m o.k. I don’t get any urges nor desires to use. I’ve attended NA meetings; continue to attend worship services since the age of 13; and now with a 45 year young birthday around the corner I’m tired of the same stupid pattern!! I have so much to be greatful for!! Keep me in your loop!!!
Gigi
Gigi,
Thanks for your honestly. I’m a big believer in, “I’m as sick as my secrets.”
As I’m sure you know, its important to find healthy things to keep you busy, especially on the days you receive a paycheck. Early on in my sobriety, I would hang out at this AA hall that was pretty much open 24 hours a day. I was also living in a sober house with seven other guys trying to stay clean and sober. It was important for me early on to keep it simple and remember what things made me feel happy and forget about drinking and all the regret. For me, that was hanging out with others in recovery. I would spend most of my spare time at the meeting hall and going to meetings all around town. There was a group of us and we would spend the whole weekends together bowling, eating out, or just sitting around talking and laughing. I remember thinking many times… “OK, yesterday I was sort of in a funky mood and what did I do? Oh yeah, I went up to the AA hall and hung out with people and laughed a lot.” I had to keep it real simple like that.
When I would start thinking about using or drinking I would call my sponsor and concentrate on the next thing I was suppose to be doing. Like calling someone and telling them I would meet them for coffee, that helped me have to be somewhere by a certain time so I couldn’t get all squirrelly and take a detour by the liquor store. Try making some concrete plans the day you get your paycheck. Make a commitment to be somewhere and do some service work for someone else.
I wish you the best, thanks for stopping by.
Jared
Wow!! Thanks for the rapid response! I was touched to know somewhere ‘out-there’ someone took a minute to answer back! I am truely grateful for that. Wow, it’s unbelievable how a loving response during confused times, can leave a lasting impact.
Thank you!!
hmm..this is an interesting post. I do think confessing your sins is definitely needed and admitting you are a sinner is the first step to true forgiveness and freedom.
However, as I grew up, I went to church every Sunday and had to confess my sins to a Priest. I was encouraged to go to counseling so have been there, done that. In AA, they taught me all about opening up and talking to others, but this really never did it for me. I tried for over 15 years. At first I would feel better that I ‘let it all out and talked it through with someone’, but I never truly felt forgiveness nor was I forgiving myself for the wrongs I had done.
Does this really do it for you? Sure, talking about something with someone makes you feel better and can help you think more clearly, but I found that I truly was not set free from the sin in my life until I was unblinded by the grace of God.
At the turning point in my life, I had a friend that shared with me that we can be forgiven of our sins b/c Jesus Christ came to live on this earth and die for our sins. In disbelief, I studied in the Bible for myself and found
in 2 Corinthians 5:19-21
“that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him (Jesus Christ) who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
When I truly laid opened my heart to Jesus, was when I first saw what forgiveness and repentance really was. I can only control my life for so long until I fail. And it’s hard trying to do it on your own. Thank God for Jesus who came to take this burden from us.
If you are looking for true forgiveness of your sins or trying to forgive yourself for things you have done, I encourage you to consider reading a Bible and looking up the following verses. I pray that the Lord will open your eyes to help you see and understand.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
“Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28)
“Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved.” (Psalm 55:22)
“My little children, these things I write to you, that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” (1 John 2:1)
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
“Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” (Acts 3:19)
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins. Put Me in remembrance; let us contend together; state your case, that you may be acquitted.” (Isaiah 43:25-26)
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus …” (Romans 8:1)
“Come now and let us reason together,” says the Lord,
“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” (Isaiah 1:18)
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
“In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.” (Ephesians 1:7)