Welcome back to The Spiritual Serenity Series: 7 Steps to Inner Peace and Happiness. Last week we looked at Acceptance. This week, we are going to look at identification.
Step 3: Identification
Now that I have accepted what needs to change, I can identify what areas I need to work on. Remember, just because we accept something, does not mean we have to like it.
I identified that a self-destructive life run on self-will had seriously contaminated my thinking over the years. The void inside my soul existed no matter what I filled it with; be it money, profession, alcohol, relationships, etc., nothing worked. I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt and as a result, my thinking was extremely misguided.
Nadia over at HappyLotus said it nicely in her post The First Step to Happiness:
“Usually the desire for material items as a means to happiness is a cover for an emotional issue. Granted this is not always the case … So be careful to distinguish why you want certain things and that will be the first step of your journey to finding happiness.”
It wasn’t hard to identify that I was not happy. A constant cloud of doom-and-gloom seemed to follow me everywhere. The feeling, I believe, started at the age of twenty. After becoming a zookeeper—a childhood dream—I discovered I was not satisfied and resigned to the fact that I never would be.
I was suffering from a spiritual malady. I was trying to fill a spiritual hole with material things. I think I knew this for years but resisted any real change. In other words, I refused to accept it. I would attend church here or there, shopping around for something spiritual I could connect with. However, the thought of turning my will and life over to a mystical power was out of the question. That was until I reached a bottom (one of many) on March 12th of 2006. It was then that something snapped. I walked out of that despair with a new resolve. I would abandon every conceived notion of what I perceived life to be about up to that point. I would ask for help and do whatever it took to get better, even if it meant believing in something I could not see. If my life was to continue, it would be on a different path, for the one I was living was not worth the pain anymore. As the saying goes, I was not afraid of dying, but was scared to death of living another day.
Many of these steps I suggest are most valuable when we have someone to help us through them. For me, it was a spiritual adviser as well as counselors and therapist. Finding a person who can help us learn about ourselves, and is trained to do so, can be invaluable.
I identified that my life had become unmanageable. Left on my own, I would destroy myself. What I needed was something more powerful than myself to believe in. I was ill equipped in living up to the self-imposed expectations of myself, the world around me, and my place in it. I identified that if I was to keep on living, I needed serious help.
So now that I’ve identified that something needs to change, and we’re not talking about something simple here like geographical or material. We need to have a complete change in our thinking—a psychic change! For that we’re going to need some help which I’ll talk about next on self-searching.
Have you identified any real big changes that need to take place in your life? Share in the comments!
The next step in The Serenity Series is Self-Searching. I’m really looking forward to this one! Its going to be a little longer post since its where some real amazing things started happening for me. I love this stuff! And I love all of you! Thanks for stopping by again.
Next up, step 4: Self-Searching
UPDATE: It is my intent to have posts here at How To Be Happy will continue to be mostly on a weekly basis I hope. I try to hold myself to at least one good post per week. Since I’ve finished school, I’m done with deadlines for a while and am working on several other projects. However, I am hoping to post some short videos of myself and what I’m working on soon. Just to make things more personal—probably in between these more serious topics.
photo credit: h.koppdelaney
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About Jared Akers
Hi Jared,
Thank you so much for mentioning one of my posts. I am so happy that you did because I discovered your site through it.
One thought came to mind as I read your post, I think more people know why they are not happy than knowing what they want out of life. I think most of us learn early on that we have to make a living and all that stuff. But very rarely are we taught how to live. In my experience in talking with people, people are very quick to identify what they don’t like in their lives but the minute you ask them what do you exactly want, they are silent and need time.
I look forward to your future posts! Hope all is awesome!
Nadia,
Thanks for stopping by. I agree with your comment totally. I knew for a long time I was unhappy, but ask me what would make me happy? Blank. I thought it was materialistic things like most people, but realized the missing piece (for me) was spiritual. I had to learn to accept the consequences of being myself. Love myself for who I was. It was then I discovered how to allow others to love me.
So I guess one of the main ingredients I was missing was…. well love. Love for myself.
Hi Jared,
I am a first timer at your site and i must say i loved your posts. I am going to make it a point to read all the Serenity series posts first.
I Love the fact that you can share such intimate details about yourself and show us all how you learned from them and in turn teach us a thing or two about life and all its intricacies.
Self realization i must say doesn’t come easy. But yes, when it does, there is no better feeling than it. Your whole world changes instantly for the better and you become more aware and intuitive. I hope you continue on your awesome spiritual journey and you will have my support all the say.
Will pray for your success.
Waiting to read your next post soon.
Zeenat,
Thank you for stopping by. I agree with you. Self realization sure didn’t come easy to me that’s for sure. I enjoy sharing about my journeys in life. I held onto secrets too long, I’m a firm believer in “I’m only as sick as my secrets.” I will pray for you as well. Looking forward to checking out your site as well.