Today I first want to encourage everyone to go check out Dena’s blog, Evolution You. Dena asked me to write a guest post on my experience with addiction and alcoholism. More specifically, how I overcome addiction each and every day. So please check it out, Overcoming Addiction Through Spiritual Growth.

Now let’s talk a little about self-destruction.

When I was in an alcoholism treatment center, I always had my guitar with me. One of my favorite songs I would play is, It Ain’t Easy Being Me by Chris Knight. The music video is shot in the middle of a demolition derby and presents a interesting visual as to the theme of the song. Self-Destruction. Most of the patients and myself could relate. I still play the song today when I share my story at treatment centers, but as a reminder of how I used to be.

There ought to be a town somewhere
Named for how I feel
Yeah I could be the mayor down there
And say ‘welcome to sorryville’
It wouldn’t be on a map no where
You might say that it don’t exist
But if you make enough wrong turns
It’da be hard to miss

There ought to a bridge somewhere they could dedicate to me
I’d probably come to the ceremony with a can of gasoline
Walk on over to the other side
Where I’d light a match
Sit and stare through the smoke and flames and wonder how I’m gonna get back

Why do I do the things I do?
Was I born this way or am I self made fool?
I shoot the lights and I curse the dark
I need your love but I break your heart
And I know the words that’ll bring you back but
But I don’t say nothing as I watch you pack
I had to work to become the jerk I’ve come to be
It ain’t easy being me

There oughta be a side show “act”
For freaks like me
I could be the star of the show with my name on the marquee
In a room with a big red button that says ‘danger do not touch’
Twice a day I’d mash it down and you can watch me self-destruct

Why do I do the things I do?
Was I born this way or am I self made fool?
I shoot the lights and I curse the dark
I need your love but I break your heart
And I know the words that will bring you back
But I don’t say nothing as I watch you pack
I had to work to become the jerk i’ve come to be
It ain’t easy being me
It ain’t easy being me

I lived a self-destructive life because I did not feel worthy of something better. But here’s the kicker, I did not know that! Not until I spent time getting to know and love myself, did I realize how unhealthy my relationship with myself was. I had to learn how to have a healthy relationship with myself; which in turn allowed me to have healthy relationship with others.

Sometimes we sabotage ourselves as a result of trying to avoid the one thing we fear the most. It’s sort of like a self-fulfilling prophecy. …actually, I guess that would be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Many people with abandonment issues find themselves in this situation—myself included. We’re so afraid that someone is going to leave us, we unknowingly place unreasonable demands on them in an effort to create the perfect relationship. Anytime we place the fate of our happiness on others, we’re bound to be disappointed. Inevitably, the person we’re placing demands on, fails at meeting our expectations and we drive them away. Thus, substantiating and feeding our belief that everyone leaves.

I always seemed hell-bent (whatever that means) on sabotaging myself. I would have the best of intentions, but my actions always fell short. I treated myself in ways I would never treat a good friend or loved one. And let me tell you from experience, if you don’t love yourself, it makes it really difficult to give and accept love in a lasting healthy manner.

I used to get confused…. thinking that what I was showing to the world on the outside, was how I felt about myself on the inside. Today, those feelings are more in-sync with each other—my insides match my outsides.

So the next time you start giving yourself a hard time, stop and give yourself a break. Ask yourself if you’d treat your best friend that way. Maybe if you start being kinder to you, you’ll want a better life for you and stop sabotaging yourself.

Now go say Hi to Dena at Evolution You and read my guest post, Overcoming Addiction Through Spiritual Growth.

photo credit: a4gpa

It Ain’t Easy Being Me: Avoiding Self-Destruction is a post from: How To Be Happy
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We are judged by our actions, not our intentions.

For years, I was a great guy. Always thinking of others—buying flowers for a girlfriend, donating items to charity, buying something I saw at the mall just knowing my friend would love it—but seldom would I follow through with action. I was too busy changing the world. I’ll get the flowers next time or tell my friend I was thinking about them while at the mall. I was the nicest guy I knew.

Thinking the right thing and doing it are two different things. Humans cannot read minds.

The difference between actions and intentions may seem simple, but it took me years to realize the difference. My ego blurred the line between doing the right thing—action—and thinking the right thing—my intention. As a result, my conscience would nudge me, telling me something was wrong. As I ignored the feeling by keeping busy, my ego went to work convincing me I was this great and caring individual. My ego wants to keep me in a place I feel comfortable, so by blurring the lines between actions and intentions, it kept me believing I was more considerate of others than I actually was.

Three frogs are sitting on a log, one decides to jump. How many are left?

Three, the frog made a decision or had the intention to jump, but took no action.

I am judged by the world based upon what I do, not what I say or think.

What do you think?

photo credit: . SantiMB .

What Everybody Ought to Know About Action vs. Intention is a post from: How To Be Happy
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