The term “recipe for happiness” is interesting… as if you can put in certain ingredients; throw it in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes and out pops happiness. Sort of like those cooking shows we’ve all seen where they put the dish in the oven and pull the finished product out of the one below it. Could finding happiness really be that easy?

Making Your Happiness Cake

Like any great cake, it starts with great ingredients; what are the ingredients you think we need in our happiness cake? Here are my suggestions:

• 1 Cup Inner Peace
• 1 Cup of Spirituality
• 1 Cup of a Realistic Perspective of Yourself
• 1 Cup of Gratitude
• A Sprinkle of Service Work

What do you think, sound like a good list of ingredients? Initially I struggled with the amount of each ingredient we need in our happiness cake, but think they are all equally important; at least for total long-lasting happiness. As for the sprinkle of service work, well, when we’re really happy with our lives and full of gratitude, there’s no better way to hold on to that happiness and gratitude then by giving it away. There really is no other feeling like helping out someone else. But don’t confuse service work with taking care of others at the expense of your own happiness and serenity. As the saying goes, “you can’t give away something you don’t have.

So is the recipe for happiness really as easy as simply finding these ingredients and incorporating them into our lives? Honestly, I really think it is. But the “rub” (if you want to call it that) is finding these ingredients in our pantry. We obviously can’t buy any of these… or at least all the years I spent trying never seemed to work. So how do we get these ingredients for happiness into our pantry? Let’s look at a few practical ways to find each one.

Inner Peace

Inner peace comes from having a realistic sense of self; a self that makes us comfortable with who we are and how we’re living our lives. I say “realistic” because for years the idea of who I was or what my life was about wasn’t really based in reality. Let me explain.

I always thought I was a very loving and caring person; key word here being “thought.” I never set out to intentionally hurt anyone, but in contrast to how I live now, I was pretty selfish and self-centered. I was always having grand ideas of getting my girlfriend flowers or would see something I thought a friend would really like, but in the process I was usually always looking out for myself and just let the thought pass by. I even told an ex-girlfriend once that I had “thought” about buying her flowers but… well, I can’t remember what I said after that, it really didn’t matter. Her response was, “should’ve could’ve.” The point here is that although I had an image that I was a caring guy, I really didn’t do a lot of things for other people purely from an altruistic state. And the amazing thing about this was I didn’t even realize it! I thought I was a nice guy; like I said, I didn’t go around hurting people but I also never really went out of my way to see what I could bring to the lives of others. Even when I did do something really nice, it was like deep in my heart I knew there was something in it for me. I didn’t realize this until years later as the result of an intense self-discovery process and a lot of emotional pain. I know this about myself now—how I was back then—because the feelings and actions I take to help others today is a totally different feeling and the difference is night and day. Today I’m not concerned with “what’s in it for me” because I already have everything I need.

When I refer to the highest ideal you have for yourself, I’m referring to the person whom you really want to be, deep down inside. This has nothing to do with material possessions or professional success; we’re talking about character traits. You may not even know what that looks like or what you’re missing, only that you feel as if you’re missing something. Finding the recipe for happiness is about finding that ideal person you want to be and finding a way to get there. An important part of that journey is finding happiness within you and getting rid of the fear which is standing in your way.

Spirituality

Spirituality can mean something different for each and every one of us. For me, it simply means I believe in a power greater than myself. It started with surrendering to the idea that there was possibly a creator or higher being and that I’m not it; basically, I’m not the center of the universe. It has evolved into something awesome today and continues to evolve over the years. I refer to this higher being as God, simply because it’s easy and works for me. What you believe in is not as important as it is to surrender to the idea that you’re not running the universe show and that there might possibly be something out there you can turn to for guidance and strength.

I know when I go running or spend time in nature I feel relieved and under the influence of some higher being. I feel at one with nature and feel guided when I quiet my mind and am able to see my problems for what they are, in my mind! All our problems exist in our mind; we create them out of fears and insecurities. Finding a spiritual connection with something outside of ourselves gives us the strength to turn our problems over that are seemingly too heavy for us to bear; even if they are only in our minds.

Spirituality is an enormous part of my happiness; too much to get into here, but if you ever have any questions regarding my beliefs, feel free to contact me. Honestly I believe in a lot of things, I use the term God because it’s easy. I don’t defend or deny anyone else’s beliefs and feel everyone should use what they’re comfortable with and understand.

Realistic Perspective of Yourself

This topic gets back to what I touched on in the inner peace ingredient of happiness. This can mainly be summed up in one word: humility.

Humility: is the quality of being humble: modest, not proud, doing something out of the goodness of your heart, not for yourself.

The important thing to keep in mind about humility is this, “humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less.” I often confused self-deprecation with humility; it’s not the same thing. Humility is the ability to have a realistic honest self-appraisal of oneself.

Gratitude

A heart full of gratitude has little room for conceits and sadness. Gratitude is also an action; we take care of those things we’re grateful for. Look around and see how well you take care of you personal things and especially yourself. Are you grateful for your life?

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
-Melody Beattie

Service Work

Service work, also known as volunteering, can be just about anything you want it to be. As I mentioned earlier, there really isn’t any feeling in the world like helping out someone else. There is a caveat to this however: your motives.

Here’s a good test to see if you’re doing service work for the right reasons: If you feel as if you might have resentment for doing something for someone, your motives might need adjusted.

This is extremely hard! I know I still struggle with this today. Here’s an example:

A few years ago my wife (girlfriend at the time) and I had just purchased her son and his wife a new paint sprayer for their home—they were in the process of preparing the exterior for painting. It was a sunny Saturday morning in early summer and I had (in my mind) a vision of a nice afternoon sitting by the pool reading and relaxing. I had an expectation of what my day was going to look like. I also expected that by purchasing them a paint sprayer, besides being grateful for the gift, we wouldn’t have to help them paint. Shortly after we arrived it was apparent that they really didn’t want the paint sprayer, which I understood because being a former painter they can sometimes be a pain to clean and maintain if you’re only doing a few small jobs (and their one story 2 bedroom house is not very big). A few minutes later I hear my girlfriend volunteer our services for the rest of the day to help them paint. Of course my mind immediately went to how I wasn’t going to be able to sit around the pool today and do nothing. I felt a little resentment build up inside and recognized it for what it was. I removed myself from the situation and went outside to… well pray and meditate. I sat by a tree and quieted my mind and ask for guidance. What came to my mind was this:

Years from now, what are you going to remember most: the day you sat by the pool doing nothing or the day you helped your future stepson and his wife paint their house?

The answer was clear and I was happy to help and be of service. That was one of many turning points for me and how I’ve found spiritual guidance to be helpful. You see, my first thought isn’t always the altruistic one, but I am able to feel a disturbance in myself and recognize it and turn it around into gratitude and an ingredient for happiness.

Here’s an exercise you can do to practice service work. Try doing something anonymously for someone. It doesn’t matter what it is, put $10 in their mailbox or rake their leaves while there at work, it doesn’t matter. You’ll feel good about yourself.

So that’s our happiness cake. Our recipe for happiness consists of Inner Peace, Spirituality, A Realistic Perspective of Yourself, Gratitude, and Service Work.

So go look in your pantry right now and see how many of these ingredients you have. If you’re a few items short, no big deal, just take some action today in finding your missing ingredient. If you’re here reading this you can add gratitude to your list; you’re able to read and that’s more than some people.

What’s your recipe for happiness look like?

Recipe for Happiness is a post from: How To Be Happy
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Two nights ago it happened. My wife and I had just finished dinner and I was watching TV when I was consumed with this overall feeling of dread. Doom and gloom from out of nowhere. I could not put my finger on the reason why, but I was overcome with this feeling of hopelessness and that something in the universe was not right. There was a disturbance in the force or as Obi-Wan put it “I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.” OK, that’s a little dramatic, but sometimes it can certainly feel that way when you’re normally brimming with gratitude.

So I laid back on the couch and just felt it. I considered grabbing a pen and paper and writing a gratitude list, knowing the action would help and then I could share how I “walk the walk.” But I didn’t, instead I used the power of now and then went through a mental list of all that I was grateful for such as my wife, granddaughter, parents, job, legs, food, home, etc. and that all my basic needs were met.

I know I talk about gratitude a lot, but it is important. Get used to it.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
-Melody Beattie

Chris Guillebeau of The Art of Nonconformity, listed three parts of gratitude in his Zen Habits guest post, “Three Truths to Help You Create a Life of Gratitude”

A life of gratitude is composed of three parts that combine to make a whole.

1. A sense of purpose in our lives

2. An appreciation for the lives of those around us

3. A willingness to take action to show the gratitude we feel

Finding A Sense of Purpose

Finding a sense of purpose in one’s life is no small task. For most of my life, I thought “the purpose” was to find happiness. This thinking simply brought on years of self-will and wrestling with most forces in life. Through the gift of desperation, I realized a life run on self-will alone puts me in conflict with the universe and everyone in it. Think about it, if we’re all trying to run our lives on self-will, getting the most out of life for ourselves, who’s looking out for each other?

It’s like when my wife and I go to Home Depot on the weekends. It’s really quite funny. We get all dressed up and looking nice just in case someone sees us. I mean really! Isn’t everyone else just going around doing the same thing—wondering how everyone sees them? (OK, maybe not…) The good thing is we’re able to laugh at ourselves about it.

Finding a sense of purpose can be as easy as doing what makes you happy. I found that living a life based on spiritual principles and helping others as much as I can makes me happy. That life is not a search for happiness but a by-product of right living. I used to think I had to change the world, you know, really make a difference! Today I look for my life purpose each and every day. My morning prayer is, “God, show me what you will have me do today and give me the strength and willingness to carry it out.” When I approach each day with this attitude, anything is possible!

Appreciate Those Around You

Appreciation is an action, look at those around you in everyday life and see what you can do to make their lives better. Here’s something to try. The next time you feel frustrated, angry, or upset because you feel someone just doesn’t understand, try being understanding rather than understood.

Bringing joy to those around you is a great way to show your appreciation for them. One of my favorite parts of the movie The Bucket List is when Carter poses the two questions which are asked of Egyptians entering heaven: “Have you found joy in your life?” and “Has your life brought joy to others?” Bring joy to others and you’ll find joy yourself.

Gratitude is an Action

I love it, just love it—anything to do with action! I use to think about getting flowers or a gift for someone, but never really took any action. I was too busy achieving happiness. People’s happiness comes from my actions, not my intentions. I refer to those days as my ten dollar days. I would never put more than ten dollars worth of gas in my car at a time. I had the money, just no patience—always in a hurry to someplace to do something for myself. It is simple—doing things for others shows them you appreciate them.

There are so many ways you can take action to show gratitude, such as how you treat yourself and your possessions. Are you grateful for your life and your body? Trying exercising. Are you grateful for your car? Try washing it. Are you grateful for your clothes? …OK, I didn’t really think “try washing them” would be that impactful so how about this… If you’re grateful for having more than enough clothes, give some of them away to a local shelter.

I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one’s heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.”
-Bill Wilson

So as I lay there on the couch and think of all that I am grateful for, the feeling of dread lifts just a little. I got on my knees and said a simple prayer, “God, thank you for your Grace and Confidence” and went up stairs to share my feelings with my wife. (I share everything, it’s good practice for when I’m making unreasonable demands of myself) She kisses me and tells me she loves me—it lifts a little more.

From experience I know that emotions are just emotions, that they change, and that This Too Shall Pass. The next morning I rise and am grateful for another day as a flower is for the sun.

Closing Side Nugget: When writing about a topic I think up a ton of other things to write about. One that immediately comes to mind is the powerful realization that emotions do not last forever. I suppose it may feel that way for some. I remember when I was suffering from alcohol depression, and the constant feeling of doom I carried in my soul. I had no purpose for my life, no gratitude, and felt those feelings would last forever. I can relate to those who may feel such emotions for extended periods of time and how suicide can seem attractive. OK, I realize that is a bold statement, but there was a time in my life when suicide was a very real option. That is when I asked for help and was desperate enough to do whatever it took to get better. If you feel hopelessness and despair, please ask someone for help. It’s out there and there are people who truly do understand what you’re going through. I still get those feelings from time to time, so I have accumulated a set of tools that I pull out and use—like gratitude! And I tell myself, this too shall pass.

photo credit: furbychan

The Secret Power of Gratitude and How to Get It is a post from: How To Be Happy
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One of my favorite books is Og Mandino’s The Greatest Miracle in the World (amazon link). First off, it’s a quick read and contains a great story of Og and Simon the Ragpicker. From the book comes the God Memorandum which consists of the four laws of happiness and success:

• Count your blessings
• Proclaim your rarity
• Go another mile
• Use wisely your power of choice

It is also suggested that one should do all things with love. If you haven’t read the book, the premise is that most humans have lost their way, that we have resigned to living on the junk pile of life. There are religious connotations in this book, so if that sort of thing bothers you, well… I would just suggest you keep an open mind. I read this book early in my spiritual journey, and as with anything spiritual or religious, I usually take what works for me and leave the rest. I’ve included the section on counting your blessings, this really helps put into perspective what a true miracle each and every one of us are.

Count Your Blessings:

You believed no one. You burned your map to happiness, you abandoned your claim to peace of mind, you snuffed out the candles that had been placed along your destined path of glory, and then you stumbled, lost and frightened, in the darkness of futility and self-pity, until you fell into a hell of your own creation.

Then you cried and beat your breast and cursed the luck that had befallen you. You refused to accept the consequences of your own petty thoughts and lazy deeds and you searched for a scapegoat on which to blame your failure. How quickly you found one.

You blamed me!

You cried that your handicaps, your mediocrity, your lack of opportunity, your failures … were the will of God!

You were wrong!

Let us take inventory. Let us, first, call a roll of your handicaps. For how can I ask you to build a new life lest you have the tools?

Are you blind? Does the sun rise and fall without your witness?

No. You can see … and the hundred million receptors I have placed in your eyes enable you to enjoy the magic of a leaf, a snowflake, a pond, an eagle, a child, a cloud, a star, a rose, a rainbow … and the look of love. Count one blessing.

Are you deaf? Can a baby laugh or cry without your attention?

No. You can hear … and the twenty-four thousand fibers I have built in each of your ears vibrate to the wind in the trees, the tides on the rocks, the majesty of an opera, a robin’s plea, children at play … and the words I love you. Count another blessing.

Are you mute? Do your lips move and bring forth only spittle?

No. You can speak … as can no other of my creatures, and your words can calm the angry, uplift the despondent, goad the quitter, cheer the unhappy, warm the lonely, praise the worthy, encourage the defeated, teach the ignorant … and say I love you. Count another blessing.

Are you paralyzed? Does your helpless form despoil the land?

No. You can move. You are not a tree condemned to a small plot while the wind and world abuses you. You can stretch and run and dance and work, for within you I have designed five hundred muscles, two hundred bones, and seven miles of nerve fiber all synchronized by me to do your bidding. Count another blessing.

Are you unloved and unloving? Does loneliness engulf you, night and day?

No. No more. For now you know love’s secret, that to receive love it must be given with no thought of its return. To love for fulfillment, satisfaction, or pride is no love. Love is a gift on which no return is demanded. Now you know that to love unselfishly is its own reward. And even should love not be returned it is not lost, for love not reciprocated will flow back to you and soften and purify your heart. Count another blessing. Count twice.

Is your heart stricken? Does it leak and strain to maintain your life?

No. Your heart is strong. Touch your chest and feel its rhythm, pulsating, hour after hour, day and night, thirty-six million beats each year, year after year, asleep or awake, pumping your blood through more than sixty thousand miles of veins, arteries, and tubing … pumping more than six hundred thousand gallons each year. Man has never created such a machine. Count another blessing.

Are you diseased of skin? Do people turn in horror when you approach?

No. Your skin is clear and a marvel of creation, needing only that you tend it with soap and oil and brush and care. In time all steels will tarnish and rust, but not your skin. Eventually the strongest of metals will wear, with use, but not that layer that I have constructed around you. Constantly it renews itself, old cells replaced by new, just as the old you is now replaced by the new. Count another blessing.

Are your lungs befouled? Does your breath of life struggle to enter your body?

No. Your portholes to life support you even in the vilest of environments of your own making, and they labor always to filter life-giving oxygen through six hundred million pockets of folded flesh while they rid your body of gaseous wastes. Count another blessing.

Is your blood poisoned? Is it diluted with water and pus?

No. Within your five quarts of blood are twenty-two trillion blood cells and within each cell are millions of molecules and within each molecule is an atom oscillating at more than ten million times each second. Each second, two million of your blood cells die to be replaced by two million more in a resurrection that has continued since your first birth. As it has always been inside, so now it is on your outside. Count another blessing.

Are you feeble of mind? Can you no longer think for yourself?

No. Your brain is the most complex structure in the universe. I know. Within its three pounds are thirteen billion nerve cells, more than three times as many cells as there are people on your earth. To help you file away every perception, every sound, every taste, every smell, every action you have experienced since the day of your birth, I have implanted, within your cells, more than one thousand billion billion protein molecules. Every incident in your life is there waiting only your recall. And, to assist your brain in the control of your body I have dispersed, throughout your form, four million pain-sensitive structures, five hundred thousand touch detectors, and more than two hundred thousand temperature detectors. No nation’s gold is better protected than you. None of your ancient wonders are greater than you.

You are my finest creation.

Within you is enough atomic energy to destroy any of the world’s great cities … and rebuild it.

Are you poor? Is there no gold or silver in your purse?

No. You are rich! Together we have just counted your wealth. Study the list. Count them again. Tally your assets!

Why have you betrayed yourself? Why have you cried that all the blessings of humanity were removed from you? Why did you deceive yourself that you were powerless to change your life? Are you without talent, senses, abilities, pleasures, instincts, sensations, and pride? Are you without hope? Why do you cringe in the shadows, a giant defeated, awaiting only sympathetic transport into the welcome void and dampness of hell?

You have so much. Your blessings overflow your cup … and you have been unmindful of them, like a child spoiled in luxury, since I have bestowed them upon you with generosity and regularity.

Answer me.

Answer yourself.

What rich man, old and sick, feeble and helpless, would not exchange all the gold in his vault for the blessings you have treated so lightly.

Know then the first secret to happiness and success – that you possess, even now, every blessing necessary to achieve great glory. They are your treasure, your tools with which to build, starting today, the foundation for a new and better life.

Therefore, I say unto you, count your blessings and know that you already are my greatest creation. This is the first law you must obey in order to perform the greatest miracle in the world, the return of your humanity from living death.

And be grateful for your lessons learned in poverty. For he is not poor who has little; only he that desires much … and true security lies not in the things one has but in the things one can do without.

Where are the handicaps that produced your failure? They existed only in your mind.

Count your blessings.

I look at our granddaughter with awe as she grows so quickly. From one week to the next her facial expressions change and her personality comes to life. She is a miracle and so are we!

I remember a dark time when I did not love myself. I had failed at life and could not possibly see how things would ever get better. My sister was there and I remember her stroking my head and saying, “I will love you enough until you can love yourself.” Part of my spiritual journey was beginning to believe that some “thing” or power could love me unconditionally and would always be there for me. There are times when my faith is shadowed by doubt or my logical brain wants to dismiss things as coincidence. It is those times that I remind myself what an amazing miracle I am. I get out of doubt or self-pity and into gratitude. No matter how bad I think things are, someone else is worse off than I. I count my blessings. A grateful heart has no room for self-pity.

“True security lies not in the things one has but in the things one can do without.”

When I am surrounded by love, I have everything I need. I believe that I am loved by God. Why? Simply because when I started praying and asking for guidance—got out of the way—and looked at each day as a way of being of service to others, my life blossomed into something I never dreamed imaginable. Some people scoff at prayer or the idea of a Higher Power, I used to be one of them. For me it is simple; prior to living a life based on spiritual principles, my life sucked.

Today my goal is to be more like a tree.

“Where are the handicaps that produced your failure? They existed only in your mind.”

My handicap was the idea that, if I only managed well, I could wrestle happiness out of life on my own. For me, a life run on self-will alone did not work. It failed because I was continually looking for happiness outside myself. Not until I truly accepted and learned how to love myself did I find true happiness and serenity. I have learned that everything I need to be happy is inside me.

So remember that you posses every blessing necessary to achieve great glory! So count your blessings and be thankful for the true miracle that you are!

One last thing I want to share with everyone! Last year my wife and I went to a Craig Morgan concert. I had heard his song, “God Must Really Love Me,” but for some reason when I heard it live, I literally broke down in tears. The part of the song which brought about the amazing feeling of gratitude and tears was the lyrics:

When I showed the worst he saw the best, he pulled the world right off my chest. Everyday I wake up I feel blessed, Yeah I feel so blessed, God must really love me.”

Check out the video! God Must Really Love Me, and remember, you are a miracle!

photo credit: Milena Leonel

You Are A Miracle, So Count Your Blessings! is a post from: How To Be Happy
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Happiness is often equal to the amount of gratitude I have, at any given time, that my needs are being met; while sadness being equal to the degree in which I have confused my wants with my needs.

Needs are items such as food, water, and shelter. If I do not get them, I will die. Wants and desires are things which I “think” will make my life better and/or bring me happiness. No matter what the price, many people spend their lives striving to obtain their wants, and yet still never find true inner-peace and happiness.

Think about the last thing you really wanted and obtained. For me, it was new laptops for both me and my wife. Oh yeah, and a camera too. Once we had those things, we were set. We eventually got them, now I want a bigger TV. I don’t need one, the one, I mean four, we have work fine.

Wants and desires are always changing. Always. When I am truly in gratitude and look at my life, I realize my needs are always provided for. And it’s when I’m in this place that I’m most serene. My spiritual growth and strength has more potential when I’m in a state of gratitude. You’ll hear a lot of people say that pain is the touchstone to all spiritual growth. I do not believe it has to be, but more often then not, pain is the only thing which motivates significant change; resulting in real spiritual growth.

So why are my desires constantly changing? Because I’m looking for happiness outside myself. I do think many desires can be useful, they drive me to become better at many things. For instance, I do have a desire to become a better friend, husband, son, and brother. Do I work as hard at those things as I do at building income to purchase material things? Probably not. But you know what? I do work at them, and that’s more than I could say for myself many years ago. Heck, I wouldn’t have considered this conversation with myself before. So I guess I’m making progress. It’s when I use these desires to obtain more than I naturally deserve that they become counterproductive to spiritual growth.

The key is to recognize that our desires will never be met, yet our needs are always provided for. The fact that all of you are sitting somewhere reading this is proof of that.

So the next time you think about something you don’t have, turn it around and find gratitude for something you do have!

I leave you today with a quote by James Allen, it’s up to you to decide what it means. I’m not real sure myself. Since I’ve read his book, As a Man Thinketh, I believe it has to do with, we are what we think. If I put all my desire and passion into material things, then that’s what I represent.

You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration.
-James Allen

What does this quote mean to you?

photo credit: jonlarge

Wants vs. Needs and Spiritual Growth is a post from: How To Be Happy
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At 12:34 P.M. Friday,  April 24th 2009, Juniper Pearl came into the world at 7lbs 7oz. My beautiful wife Emily’s son and his wife had a perfect baby girl. So yes, that would make me a 38 year old grandpa. It just doesn’t get any better than this.

A few years ago, prior to meeting my wife, I prayed for two things; that God would put someone special in my life, and that if it was His will, children would be in my future. Reminds me of the Craig Morgan song, “God Must Really Love Me.”

A new life comes into the world is a post from: How To Be Happy
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It was a beautiful summer day in 2007. My girlfriend (now my wife) and I were visiting her son and his wife. They own a small house in a rural town about twenty minutes away. It was to be a short visit, just to drop off a paint sprayer we bought for them. They were in the process of painting their house and this was sort of our way of getting out of helping—by purchasing them a nice paint sprayer (at least that’s the way my selfish brain saw it). I had visions of spending the rest of the afternoon lounging by our pool doing nothing. It was going to be great.

We arrived with the paint sprayer to discover they really didn’t want it, or need it really. Well, OK, I thought, “we tried.” Then my girlfriend, out of nowhere, offered our labor and painting services for the rest of the afternoon! I felt the resentment rise up inside me as I saw my lazy afternoon quickly dissolve into hours of sweat and climbing up and down ladders. I recognized what was happening so I left the room and went outside. I found a quiet place and prayed. I asked for acceptance and the willingness to do the next right thing. Then, it came to me.

Years from now, will I remember the day I sat by the pool and did nothing, or the day I helped my girlfriends son and his wife paint their house? The answer was clear and it felt great! We spent the rest of the afternoon painting their house.

Years from now, we’re more likely to remember a day spent helping someone else.

photo credit: Hiddenloop

How to Remember Today Years From Now is a post from: How To Be Happy
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I try to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one’s heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.
-Bill Wilson

photo credit: karenwithak

A Thankful Heart is a post from: How To Be Happy
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“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
-Buddha

Today, I am a spiritual warrior, fending off anything that threatens my spiritual fitness. My enemies are anxiety, depression, regret, resentment, and fear. Although some of these can be helpful at times—like the fear of cutting off my finger while using a skill saw—mostly they threaten my spiritual zen. When I’m anywhere but in the moment, I’m of no use to myself or others. I have discovered some actions that help me stay in the moment.

Stop and Count Your Blessings

Early in my journey, I knew nothing about “living in the now.” Quite contrary, most of my efforts were spent avoiding it. I was not equipped with the tools of learning to live for today. I dreaded the future and the wreckage of my past. I learned during that time to stop, look around, and reaffirm to myself that right then, in that moment, everything was OK. I still practice this today. I mean really take it all in, looking at where I am physically and who is around me, that I am safe, alive, and have basic things like food and shelter. This process helps me get back in gratitude where I am closer to the now then the depression of the past or anxiety of the future.

Writing a gratitude list is one way I use to count my blessings. Stopping to write down on a piece of paper things that I am grateful for is a great way of getting back into the moment.

Spiritual Development

Spirituality is different for everyone. However, at some point there’s a belief system that comes into play and influences how we live our lives. Mine is pretty simple, I believe that I’m not the center of the universe and that spiritual development is about humility and love. Part of that for me includes believing in a power outside of myself; which is constantly evolving so I avoid trying to define it.

Staying spiritually connected is difficult at times, one thing I do is look for signs of guidance. For instance, paper-clips are God’s way of saying to me, “hey, I’m thinking of you and you’re right where you’re suppose to be.” It may sound silly, but it works. You’d be surprised at how many paper clips you can find in all sorts of places. Whenever I see a paper clip laying on the ground, I pick it up, thank God for reminding me of his presence and my insignificance in the master plan, and place it in my pocket. They always seem to show up at the right time. When I get home I place them in a jar. Right there, sitting on a shelf in front of our kitchen window, is a reminder that I am loved and watched over.

Being of Service

Picking up the phone and calling a friend and asking them if there’s anything they need is a good way of getting into the moment. I spend a lot of time with others who are on similar journeys, whether just listening or sharing my story. Everyone has something to give, have you struggled with something and found a solution? Try sharing it with someone else.

Meditation

I meditate in many different ways, but one type I can do anywhere is breathing. When feeling anxious or spiritually unfit, I like to stop and really concentrate on my breathing. Breathing in God and out self works wonders for me. Also visualizing things which I want in my life. Similar to the secret law of attraction which then must be followed by action towards those goals.

Reading

I love to read. I’ve found Emmet Fox’s The Sermon on the Mount is a great book for learning how to live life. Some of my other favorites are The Five People You Meet in Heaven, and The Greatest Miracle in the World.

Staying in the moment is easier said then done, but with practice, it does get easier. What techniques do you use to stay in the moment?

Photo credit: h.koppdelaney

Staying in the moment is a post from: How To Be Happy
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The following scene from field of dreams always resonates with me. This is where Kevin Costner’s character Ray is asked by his father John if he’s in heaven:

John Kinsella: Is this heaven?
Ray Kinsella: It’s Iowa.
John Kinsella: Iowa? I could have sworn this was heaven.
[John starts to walk away]
Ray Kinsella: Is there a heaven?
John Kinsella: Oh yeah. It’s the place where dreams come true.
[Ray looks around, seeing his wife playing with their daughter on the porch]
Ray Kinsella: Maybe this is heaven.

For the majority of my life, I felt that “if only” I could achieve this, or obtain that, then I would be happy. And heaven? Well that was just a place I may or may not go to reflect on my life. I would deal with that then.

Ray’s heaven, and key to happiness, is a house where his wife and daughter can enjoy afternoon’s on the porch. Where he’s given the courage to follow a dream no matter how crazy others think he is. Where something inside him drives him because he knows in his heart it is true and pure; and that for him is how to be happy. It is him. Where his faith was tested and at times he considered giving up, but in the end he stuck to the truth he felt within and he discovered heaven.

My heaven is inside me today. It’s the feeling that I am human, that I need help, and if I need it today I will ask for it. Heaven is a loving wife who accepts me for who I am, and nothing else. Heaven is a loving God. Heaven is picking up the phone and listening to someone in need. But most importantly, heaven is accepting the consequences of being myself.

What’s your heaven look like?

photo credit: mlwguide

What’s Your Heaven Look Like? is a post from: How To Be Happy
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I didn’t know 7 Eleven’s slogan was “Thank Heaven for 7 Eleven.” I know, I know, not sure where I’ve been for the last 30 years or so. I was getting gas there yesterday and their little screen at the pre-pay pump displayed “Thank Heaven” on it. I thought, wow, that’s cool. Amen to that. My wife informed me that was their slogan, not just a personal little message for me. Oh well, I took it as one.

Thank Heaven for 7 Eleven is a post from: How To Be Happy
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