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Welcome to the How to Be Happy Podcast Episode #3. In this session Emily and I talk about nurturing relationships.
Some topics you’ll hear in this episode:
Keeping the Love (relationship) Alive
- In the early part of a relationship, it’s easier to be physical than emotional. Physical interaction is an easy way to say, “Hey, I’m really digging you!”
- As the relationship matures, you still show love in other ways
- Things to do For Him: Emily give’s a shout out to the “ladies at the Starbucks of Summit Fair, Lee’s Summit, MO where she was asked about loving things to do for your husband
- Leaving love notes (maybe in your husbands coat pocket)
- Emily mentions doing things like folding a wash clothe nice or a chocolate under the pillow like you would see in a five star hotel
- Letting him know it’s OK to enjoy himself and relax
- Things to do For Her:
- The obvious ones, flowers (for no reason)
- We talk a little bit about orchids. Each has its own love language like people sometimes
- Find out what they “dig” – Pay attention
- Just be kind
- Leave notes
- Jared’s a PC, Emily is a MAC and we make it work just fine
- Date Night
- Schedule time when it’s just the two of you
- Communication is always key
- Spontaneity
- Be willing to be spontaneous
- Although communicate, some people like to be mentally prepared, like when they have an expectation
- We talk a little bit about traveling and how Jared used to schedule everything. And how it’s more important now to “wear life like a loose garment” and go with the flow
- Decide “how big of a deal is it” if we decide to go do something else – other than what we expected
- We share a story about our first trip together to St. Croix. Expectations and that we can decide, are we going to be part of the problem, or the solution? And Jared get’s sprayed by ants in the Jeep
Alone Time
- Keeping Self Image – Independence
- Waiting on your spouse to get read – don’t rush them
- Hobbies
- Having alone time is good – then you have something to share with each other later
Friends
- Circle of Friends – How much investment do you point in a relationship that’s not positive?
- Hanging out with People Who Inspire You
- Investing in Relationships
Family
- Family is important but we can still surround ourselves with people that inspire us
- Love more by caring less
Some items reference or mentioned in this episode:
- “How do you get your nearest and dearest to change their behavior? Simple: Stop giving a damn what they do, says Martha Beck.” Martha Beck’s How to Love More by Caring Less in Oprah Magazine.
- St. Croix
- Flowers
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About Jared Akers
Ha! Sweet blog, man! Congrats!
Gonna download your book. I’m interested.
Hey, good to see ya Constantin. Thanks for stopping by. I’m excited as my Hero 2 is waiting for me when I get home tonight.
Hey Jared and Emily
Great thoughts! There is alot to be said about physical and emotional aspects of a relationship. Doing the same old same old gets old. Finding ways to combine the two seems to be the big secret or puzzle rather. Recently my hubby and I bought a massage table and are practicing massage on each other. Its nice a real learning process of what each other likes and are able to communicate things to each other. Like learning to make the massage flow with the music in the background or what type of music is preferable. Its a good thing for each and it doesn’t need to lead to sex. Just appreciating one another and communicating likes and dislikes. I would highly recommend an intimate massage really focusing on the other person and their enjoyment. There is always something new to learn everyday – just make your significant other one of those things you learn something new about everyday. You are right its paying attention to your loved one… Isn’t that what we really want – special attention because you are special to me.
Have a good one – keep up the work!
Heather
Hey Heather, great idea on the message table. Actually, we already have one, but currently it’s just sitting in our basement with all our SCUBA gear on it! LOL Maybe we should pull it out this weekend. We also have a goal of doing Yoga together. Something I’ve wanted to do for years but for some reason haven’t started yet. Emily’s been doing it already so I’d better get with it!
Ha! We tried Yoga together – even our dog looked at us funny! Decided that was a “his” thing and Zumba is a “my” thing. Encouragement and support of whatever it is you do together or apart is the important thing. Get that table out! Make a date out of it. Might help with those sore muscles from Yoga LOL
Great idea.