Comments on: Finding Happiness http://jaredakers.com/finding-happiness/ Happiness for the Practical Mind Sat, 04 Feb 2012 00:38:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Gary http://jaredakers.com/finding-happiness/#comment-3011 Gary Wed, 07 Dec 2011 10:20:10 +0000 http://howtofindhappiness.net/?p=212#comment-3011 Hi Jared, just stumbled across your finding inner happyness page. i have always believed you need to love yourself first to be able to love others. however my self esteem, inner confidence and postitive optimism is very faint. At this time any sort of long or short term planning fails, however small the goal is. my question is how do you find inner happyness when the reality of life is depressive and destructive? or do you raise above this, to say yes awful things happen to good people, but i am happy for each day that life gives me. Thanks, Gary Hi Jared,

just stumbled across your finding inner happyness page. i have always believed you need to love yourself first to be able to love others. however my self esteem, inner confidence and postitive optimism is very faint. At this time any sort of long or short term planning fails, however small the goal is. my question is how do you find inner happyness when the reality of life is depressive and destructive? or do you raise above this, to say yes awful things happen to good people, but i am happy for each day that life gives me.
Thanks, Gary

]]> By: jared http://jaredakers.com/finding-happiness/#comment-3016 jared Wed, 07 Dec 2011 05:25:45 +0000 http://howtofindhappiness.net/?p=212#comment-3016 Hey Gary, Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I've also heard that self-love is more about emotional connectedness with self. Which makes sense to me. As I'm more emotionally connected, I'm better able to identify those things which 1) bring me happiness or 2) are making me unhappy. I can certainly relate to long-term planing being difficult. I struggle with that also at times. As I mentioned in the article, I have to break things down into manageable chunks. Even for big long term goals. For example, I have a goal of finishing a book I've been working on for... well, about 3 years. I often get caught up in what the cover will look like or how will I distribute it. What I should be doing is writing. :-) I guess it comes down to time management. Or rather the realization that if I want to have a book done, I need to write. Like if I want to find happiness, I need to find out what's causing me to be unhappy. Like you mentioned, self-esteem, inner confidence, etc. are vary faint. So I look to see why I'm feeling that way. Of course "I" can't fix a broken thought process with the same mind that got into this mess, so I need help. That's why I use friends, coaches, and therapists. And to answer your question, "how do you find inner happiness when the reality of life is depressive and destructive?" Yes there is a destructive reality to life, but there's also the beautiful reality. For me it's been a change of perspective. Yes, life can seem depressive and destructive. All I have to do is watch the local evening news. It's disgusting and extremely depressive. All that does is remind me of the horrific things people are doing to each other. So I don't watch the news. I surround myself with positive and loving people. I make a choice to see the beauty in things, <a href="http://jaredakers.com/the-finality-of-death-the-miracle-of-asking-and-missing-my-dad/" rel="nofollow">even death</a>. And most importantly, I can be loving, kind, and do good things. In the end, all we can really do is not add to the destruction; be part of the solution and not the problem. But first I had to realize "the problem" was me; as in my inner-peace and happiness. Once I realized I was the problem, I am also the solution! Good luck to you Gary and thanks again for the great comments. Hey Gary,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I’ve also heard that self-love is more about emotional connectedness with self. Which makes sense to me. As I’m more emotionally connected, I’m better able to identify those things which 1) bring me happiness or 2) are making me unhappy.

I can certainly relate to long-term planing being difficult. I struggle with that also at times. As I mentioned in the article, I have to break things down into manageable chunks. Even for big long term goals. For example, I have a goal of finishing a book I’ve been working on for… well, about 3 years. I often get caught up in what the cover will look like or how will I distribute it. What I should be doing is writing. :-) I guess it comes down to time management. Or rather the realization that if I want to have a book done, I need to write.

Like if I want to find happiness, I need to find out what’s causing me to be unhappy. Like you mentioned, self-esteem, inner confidence, etc. are vary faint. So I look to see why I’m feeling that way. Of course “I” can’t fix a broken thought process with the same mind that got into this mess, so I need help. That’s why I use friends, coaches, and therapists.

And to answer your question, “how do you find inner happiness when the reality of life is depressive and destructive?”

Yes there is a destructive reality to life, but there’s also the beautiful reality. For me it’s been a change of perspective. Yes, life can seem depressive and destructive. All I have to do is watch the local evening news. It’s disgusting and extremely depressive. All that does is remind me of the horrific things people are doing to each other. So I don’t watch the news. I surround myself with positive and loving people. I make a choice to see the beauty in things, even death.

And most importantly, I can be loving, kind, and do good things. In the end, all we can really do is not add to the destruction; be part of the solution and not the problem. But first I had to realize “the problem” was me; as in my inner-peace and happiness. Once I realized I was the problem, I am also the solution!

Good luck to you Gary and thanks again for the great comments.

]]> By: Jared http://jaredakers.com/finding-happiness/#comment-638 Jared Mon, 06 Jun 2011 12:16:26 +0000 http://howtofindhappiness.net/?p=212#comment-638 Trina, Thanks for leaving a comment. One saying that helps me often in this type of thinking is "things happen around me and not to me." Meaning that life happens and that it's not happening to me (as a victim) but just around me. It does take practice to try and develop a different type of thinking, one that allows events in our lives to take us to where we're supposed to be and not just where we've ended up. Taking charge of our own happiness is key. Try putting into practice some of the practical tips I mentioned in my report. Trina,
Thanks for leaving a comment. One saying that helps me often in this type of thinking is “things happen around me and not to me.” Meaning that life happens and that it’s not happening to me (as a victim) but just around me. It does take practice to try and develop a different type of thinking, one that allows events in our lives to take us to where we’re supposed to be and not just where we’ve ended up. Taking charge of our own happiness is key. Try putting into practice some of the practical tips I mentioned in my report.

]]> By: trina http://jaredakers.com/finding-happiness/#comment-637 trina Sun, 05 Jun 2011 23:31:35 +0000 http://howtofindhappiness.net/?p=212#comment-637 i tryin hard to find happiness within myself, but its hard if everything around you keep failing. I try to push myself but i seem to fll short and get angry eith myself and everyoneelse. Please help me with just little more insights. i tryin hard to find happiness within myself, but its hard if everything around you keep failing. I try to push myself but i seem to fll short and get angry eith myself and everyoneelse. Please help me with just little more insights.

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